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May 18 2018

Mutant Elephants with Woolly Mammoth DNA Might Save Us from Global Warming by Knocking Down Trees

If there is anything wackier than the list of problems moonbats think are caused by global warming, it is their proposed solutions — like creating mutant elephants with woolly mammoth DNA to fight global warming by knocking down trees:

Woolly mammoths have been extinct for more than 4,000 years, but with new gene-editing techniques, they could help mitigate the effects of a modern problem: climate change.

The plan is to mix the woolly mammoth genes with those of modern Asian elephants to create a new breed resistant to cold. Why should we do that when supposedly the world will get hotter and hotter due to global warming? Because we could let the mutant elephants loose in Siberia:

Once there, the genetically tweaked elephants would topple trees that keep the area warm in the winter, thereby restoring a more climate-friendly ecosystem.

Virtue signaling companies that promise to plant trees to save the planet from global warming had better change their message, now that trees are bad. In light of this latest reversal of global warming dogma, they should promise to tear down trees instead.

Let’s pause to laugh at moonbats who have bought carbon offsets from scams like Carbonfund.org, which shouts that 20% of global warming is caused by deforestation. Money these fools have been parted from allegedly goes to plant trees so as to arrest global warming. Little did they know that trees actually cause global warming.

The Harvard Woolly Mammoth Revival Team is headed by geneticist George Church. He explains:

“The elephants that lived in the past — and elephants possibly in the future — knocked down trees and allowed the cold air to hit the ground and keep the cold in the winter, and they helped the grass grow and reflect the sunlight in the summer,” Church said. “Those two [factors] combined could result in a huge cooling of the soil and a rich ecosystem.”

If the horror movie experiments with the ancient elephants don’t pan out, maybe we should cut down some of the trees ourselves and use them for lumber. Never mind; that would benefit humanity, so it must be bad.

On a tip from TheChaoticStorm.



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