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Aug 19 2011

NASA: Space Aliens Might Punish Us for Allegedly Causing Global Warming

The great minds that haven’t yet resigned in disgust from the Muslim outreach program still formerly known as NASA have a very different set of tasks than they did before Obama set out to fundamentally transform America into something that would make a vulture puke. For example:

Shawn Domagal-Goldman of Nasa’s Planetary Science Division and his colleagues compiled a list of plausible outcomes that could unfold in the aftermath of a close encounter, to help humanity “prepare for actual contact”.

In their report, Would Contact with Extraterrestrials Benefit or Harm Humanity? A Scenario Analysis, the researchers divide alien contacts into three broad categories: beneficial, neutral or harmful.

In the harmful column,

“Green” aliens might object to the environmental damage humans have caused on Earth and wipe us out to save the planet. “These scenarios give us reason to limit our growth and reduce our impact on global ecosystems. It would be particularly important for us to limit our emissions of greenhouse gases, since atmospheric composition can be observed from other planets,” the authors write.

Any bureaucrat who could write that with a straight face almost deserves the unaffordably extravagant salaries and benefits the federal leviathan shovels at its minions.

space-alien.jpg
So that’s why they call them “little green men.”

On tips from Stormfax, mega, and Winston Smith.



39 Responses to “NASA: Space Aliens Might Punish Us for Allegedly Causing Global Warming”

  1. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    How many time did that NSA wacko watch that putrin remake of THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL while sniffing white powerder up his nose?

  2. Jodie says:

    They are going to scatter like roaches when this happens:

    “29Immediately after the tribulation of those days shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken:

    30And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.

    31And he shall send his angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.”

    Matthew 24:29-31
    King James Version (KJV)

  3. Spider says:

    Obviously, since this once-great agency has now come under the control of this Marxist administration, it’s time for it to be closed down. Just add it to the list of govt. agencies that need to be abolished, such as, EPA, IRS, DOE, ATF, and many, many more. If the Republicans weren’t so gutless, they would have already started defunding these politically motivated money eaters.

  4. FrankW says:

    How bout this concept Mr. PhD: Alien minds are alien. They likely do not give a rats ass about what we do with our atmosphere. Most likely they would want something and take it.

  5. lvb-rocks says:

    If the invading ETs are as smart as our esteemed scientists say, the obvious signal for a takeover of the planet is not the supposed rise in global temperatures but rather the real drop in global morality.

  6. mega says:

    Intelligence develops in large part to enable better hunting skills. Stupid passive plant-eaters are consumed by clever, tricky carnivors. It would take quite a massive intelligence beyond our own understanding to work out the interstellar travel puzzle. Thus, it’s safe to say that when the aliens show up, they are not going to be coming here for an Al Gore conference followed by a Bono concert, and are not going to give a flying F what we’ve been doing with our own atmosphere.

    Besides, we’ve all seen that movie already. Are they giving out free Netflix subs to idle NASA scientists now?

  7. lonelypatriot says:

    If they had criticized gay marriage then they would be fired liked this “Teacher of the year”: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/08/19/florida-teacher-suspended-for-anti-gay-marriage-post-on-personal-facebook/

  8. Dan says:

    This report is as reliable as any other report concerning climate change.

    The saddest part of the whole story is the authors of this report are on the government payroll. Why would it be so hard to reduce our spending— here is one department that can be eliminated without anybody missing it.

  9. The MaryHunter says:

    I nearly drove off the road when I heard this on the radio this morning! Maybe what we need is an alien invasion of JUST DC, so they would punish those pinheads for all of their excess blow-hard greenhouse emissions.

  10. Ghost of FA Hayek says:

    So guess the next generation will see a federal bureaucracy called NASA, and scratch their heads trying to figure out what it is they actually do.
    Department of “energy” anyone ?

  11. Jodie says:

    Right Ghost! NASA will be like the USDA, where they don’t even know what they do, as a reporter found out while trying to answer a question posed to Obama by a farmer in Illinois:

    “At Wednesday’s town hall in Atkinson, Ill., a local farmer who said he grows corn and soybeans expressed his concerns to President Barack Obama about ‘more rules and regulations’ — including those concerning dust, noise and water runoff — that he heard would negatively affect his business.

    The president, on day three of his Midwest bus tour, replied: ‘If you hear something is happening, but it hasn’t happened, don’t always believe what you hear.’

    When the room broke into soft laughter, the president added, ‘No — and I’m serious about that.’

    Saying that ‘folks in Washington’ like to get ‘all ginned up’ about things that aren’t necessarily happening (‘Look what’s comin’ down the pipe!’), Obama’s advice was simple: ‘Contact USDA.’

    ‘Talk to them directly. Find out what it is that you’re concerned about,’ Obama told the man. ‘My suspicion is, a lot of times, they’re going to be able to answer your questions and it will turn out that some of your fears are unfounded.’

    Call Uncle Sam. Sensible advice, but perhaps the president has forgotten just how difficult it can be for ordinary citizens to get answers from the government.

    When this POLITICO reporter decided to take the president’s advice and call the USDA for an answer to the Atkinson town hall attendee’s question, I found myself in a bureaucratic equivalent of hot potato — getting bounced from the feds to Illinois state agriculture officials to the state farm bureau.

    http://www.politico.com/politico44/perm/0811/call_uncle_sam_5c130fdd-0e34-4b04-99e1-3d923ea3919e.html

  12. Carmen says:

    QUICK – Everyone learn to Yodel!!! wack wack!!

  13. Joe says:

    Aliens concerned with global warming? Really? This is what passes for science in the world of 0?
    I’d fire this stupid SOB so fast his head would spin.

  14. Jodie says:

    What’s next? If WE don’t give THEM more of OUR money to combat global warming, we will be eaten by giant spiders?

  15. Winston Smith says:

    This nut obviously watched the remake of THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL with Keanu Reeves way too many times for that was the plot of the movie. One of the dumbest endings ever where departing alien Keanu blacks out the entire planet leaving people to starve and freeze who without electricity would resort to burning every tree they could get their hands on to keep warm and cook what little food their was.

  16. Ghost of FA Hayek says:

    Jodie
    The USDA field office ?
    Now there is a place one can find real live aliens.
    I am convinced that as soon as you enter those doors, you are swept up into some vortex of space time continuum where these creatures emerge and literally feed upon your sense of productivity.
    It was Obama’s own way of telling that farmer to go pound sand.

  17. whotothewhat says:

    It has already happened, The Invasion of the body snatchers, Washington is full of pod people. WARNING TO NOT GO TO SLEEP!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWr80meNvSQ&feature=related

  18. Jodie says:

    Ghost of FA Hayek says:
    August 19, 2011 at 11:07 am

    Yes, one need only look at the (anit-white) racist, bigoted, Shirley Sherrod to see an example of a typical USDA employee.

  19. Festivus says:

    I’m thinking the aliens will be coming here for our CO2.

  20. Wyatt's Torch says:

    “I am going to destroy the earth with my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator. It blocks my view of Venus!”

    Marvin the Martian

    I’m with Mary. Aim the Modulator at D.C.

    Problem solved

  21. Beef says:

    This from an agency that once put men on the moon.

    NASA is no longer the home of the best and the brightest, to say the least.

  22. AEIOU says:

    I downloaded this guy’s white paper to see what else was in it and ended up reading the entire thing – it’s actually pretty interesting – he attempts to answer the question of how the discovery of extraterrestrial intelligence would affect humanity. The premise that ETs would be pissed about “global warming” is just one of hundreds of possible scenarios that the author categorizes as extremely improbable, nevertheless he lumps the environmental damage meme in with all of the other far-out possibilities ranging from humans as the main appetizer course to death rays from Mars.
    To be fair, there are as many fascinating observations in this paper as there are goofy ones.

  23. Spurwing Plover says:

    I suggest that next time MARVIN THE MARTIAN and K-9 NEED TO COLLECT THE MOST WACKO EARTHMAN MIGHT I SUGGEST THEY TAKE SHAWN D. GOLDMAN AS A EXAMPLE

  24. Uncle Joe Liberty says:

    I’m not sure what any of this has to do with so-called biblical prophesy, but I would like to know how much of our tax money went to fund this stupid waste of time. What a shame. The once proud home of man’s greatest technological achievements reduced to a government propaganda tool (Yeah, it was propaganda before too, but also much more).

  25. Uncle Joe Liberty says:

    Dang! Make that “prophecy”

  26. Jodie says:

    Uncle Joe,

    It has a lot to do with prophecy. When people should be preparing for the return of Jesus, these idiots are trying to divert their attention to fearing aliens.

    Besides, the beings that people think are aliens may actually be angels.

    “37But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.

    38For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark,

    39And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.”

    Matthew 24
    King James Version (KJV)

  27. Chris in N. Va. says:

    They obviously just misunderstood what the SETI folks picked up with their antennae. The ACTUAL message was:

    Quick! Get Barack off the Nicotine!

    *cough!*

    ZZZZAAAAAAP!

    To Serve Man – tastes just like chicken!

  28. Jimbo says:

    Aliens are real, I saw a picture in the Enquirer of BJ Clinton talking to a couple of the little round-headed bastards.

  29. Screwy Puppy says:

    Has anyone seen “the Arrival?” Warning – SPOILER – In the movie the aliens were here accelerating global warming because it suited them.

    Anyways, the first “The Day The Earth Stood Still” is fairly on point. I recommend looking into the incident at Rendlesham Forest.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rendlesham_Forest_incident

  30. SPURWING PLOVER says:

    Get yourself one of those WAR OF THE WORLDS invasion craft and attack NASA and WASHINGTON D.C.(DISTRICT of CRINIMALS)AND SWEEP WIDE WITH THE MARTIAN HEAT RAY

  31. Jeff says:

    So we are supposed to be worried about what MIGHT happen. That thease aliens are going to notice us due to our green house gasses (And the science is settled so sayeth Al Gore, piss be on his name). And thease aliens are going to do harm to humanity because of it. The aliens are smart enough to find us from the increase of green house gasses but are clueless to find us due to the non-natural gas in the air, such as CFCs and exhaust from cars, aircraft and industries. Nor are they smart enough to notice the electromagnetic radiation that humanity has been broadcasting for nearly a century; radio and television signals. Oh by the way, they and all the others are traveling at the speed of light. But no they will never find those, only the green house gasses.

  32. Oiao says:

    Now that is just ‘Racist….!’, a Black Martian with a gun.

  33. Cameraman says:

    The only aliens I fear are coming from Mexico and The Canal Zone!

  34. Tom says:

    Typical of Penn “Climategate” State University to be involved with this hair-brain theory.

    NASA must smoke pot and drink booze with the Chrysler autoworkers at lunch to dream up this sh!t.

  35. Ghost of FA Hayek says:

    Right Jeff
    And we are supposed to believe that they on the other hand will arrive, traveling at the speed of light on inter galactic space ships powered by windmills and unicorn farts

  36. Jim says:

    It’s ludicrous on the face of it to think that an alien civilization once it leaves it’s own solar system is going to ignore the virtually unlimited raw materials and free energy in space. to climb back down our gravity well (loss of potential energy) to punish us for putting out a little CO2. Apparently the author was told “If it comes out of this administration and has to do with science ,you must mention Global Warming”

  37. oldguy says:

    Liberals ruin everything they touch, don’t they?

  38. Alan says:

    This nutjob thinks that an alien race can look at the makeup of our atmosphere and conclude that greenhouse gases are unnaturally high, and that humans caused it. Some real rocket science there.


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