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Dec 16 2020

New Name for Cleveland Indians

Having been bullied by the woke mob into dropping their iconic Chief Wahoo and then the name they have had for over a century, the Cleveland Indians have decided how they will now be known. Suggested names include the Cleveland Cowards, Cleveland Cucks, Cleveland Eunuchs, Cleveland Transgenders, Cleveland Chowderheads, Cleveland Candyasses, Cleveland Soy Boys, Cleveland Cave-ins, Cleveland Pantiewaists, Cleveland Rutabagas, Cleveland Steamers, Cleveland Idiots, Cleveland Vaginas, Cleveland Pussies, Cleveland Sissies, Cleveland Whimps, Cleveland Snowflakes, and Cleveland Cleveland Cowardly Pussytwat Crying Crybabies. These were all rejected as being offensive to cowards, cucks, eunuchs, et cetera.

The Babylon Bee reports that the team will henceforth be known as the “Cleveland Genderless Sports Players With No Discernable Racial Features Or Specific Ethnic Background.”

“After listening to the earnest pleas of a few recent college grads who sat through a Native American History course once, we realized something had to change,” said owner Paul Dolan. “Once we make this change, we expect the lives of indigenous people to improve exponentially.”

Chief Wahoo will be replaced by a “generic, genderless, racially ambiguous grey face with purple hair.” This will be a improvement over the block C they have been wearing on their hats so as not to commit racial oppression with the image of Chief Wahoo.

The question remains whether anyone will be watching anyway. The main point of baseball used to be that it was part of Americana. Watching the players kneel in theatrical obeisance to Marxist terrorists as they rioted throughout the country, tearing down statues of the Founding Fathers, perverted the MLB into anti-Americana. The league spat on its country and in the faces of its fans in favor of political correctness; interest in it may continue to wane as former fans find better uses for their time.

On a tip from Lyle.


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