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Sep 04 2017

Now Climate Change Causes Traffic Accidents

This was reported by Roto-Reuters with a straight face:

Climate change – not increased use of cell phones – might be to blame for an unusual spike in road deaths that hit the United States two years ago, said a study published on Thursday.

The study said people might have used their vehicles more frequently to avoid increasingly bad weather – rising temperatures and heavier rainfall – resulting in an increased number of deaths on the road.

They must figure if they throw enough hysterical nonsense against the wall, something will eventually stick, and we will start taking their desperate lies seriously. We might plead to have taxes and regulations increased so that we won’t get in car accidents from driving away from the warmer weather.

Root cause: global warming.

On a tip from Bodhisattva.

21 Responses to “Now Climate Change Causes Traffic Accidents”

  1. Eddie_Valiant says:

    First problem:
    Using mathematical models, the retired Yale University epidemiologist…
    He’s from Yale – another pinheaded academic.

    Second problem: he’s an epidemiologist.

    According to the definition on the, an epidemiologist studies diseases in a particular group of humans. Unless I missed something, accidents aren’t diseases, although they may be caused by people who have celliphonus textus.

  2. FromNJ says:

    Yeah, when I see some maniac blow by me on the highway doing 80 I think to myself “man, he must be so desperate to get away from climate change!”

  3. CC says:

    How about all the illegal 3rd world idiots that someone keeps giving a licence to.

  4. MAS says:

    Figures don’t lie but liars do figure…

  5. The LIEberal Media ☆ ᵀᴿᵁᴹᴾ says:

    And I thought it was all those self-deporting Mayhemxicans driving home to make Mexico Great Again.

  6. The LIEberal Media ☆ ᵀᴿᵁᴹᴾ says:

    Sssshhh! You’re not supposed to say the logical thing!

  7. grayjohn says:

    Global warming definitely causes STUPID.

  8. RWDave says:

    I didn’t know kindergarteners did “studies”…Good to know. Would love to read more of their peer-reviewed papers.

  9. Joe Mama says:

    No no no, it’s…ah…Burger King that’s causing it. Yeah, about 8 hours after I eat a Whopper combo I start farting like crazy and everyone drives off so they don’t have to smell it. Yeah, that’s it. That’s the ticket.

  10. TED says:

    When you MAKE SOMETHING UP you can claim it causes ANYTHING!!! BUT, just like the MADE-UP PROBLEM that doesn’t make it TRUE!!!

  11. Frank says:

    Guess we’d better knuckle under and give the Bilderburgs what that want; total control of the planet and everyone on it .

  12. Frank says:

    Goebbels said a lie told often enough becomes the truth! The libtards are checking to see if it still works as well as it did in Nazi Germany.

  13. Frank says:

    It’s effluent from all the bean burritos!

  14. Area man says:

    Same plan they are using against Trump….”it was Russia” “He’s a racist!” “He’s a mysoginist!” “He has 2 scoops of ice cream!” “He puts ketchup on steak!”

  15. TED says:

    EVERY DAY, they NEVER stop LYING!!

  16. 127guy says:

    You have the appropriate filter in place for the liberal nonsense. I find it all amusing, if not a bit wearisome.

  17. 127guy says:

    All fixed by “revenue neutral” carbon taxes and reparations to third world despots!

  18. Otis Longear says:

    gee it couldn’t be or at least some of it attributed to increased drug; ovoid and marijuana use could it? both gvt created ‘crisis-es’

    as well as attention deficit problems from constant cellular/interwebz use.

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