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Jun 03 2019

Pogo Sticks as Alternative Transportation

If Democrats are able to inflict their Green New Deal, air travel will be banned, and automobiles will be limited to elite members of the ruling class. That’s why liberals devote so much thought to alternate modes of transport. We have seen Washington Governor Jay Inslee, who is running for president on the single issue of environmentalist fanaticism, posing with an electric scooter. But a few progressives have thought the issue through to the point of realizing that the electricity for the scooter was probably generated by the very fossil fuels that will be banned under the Green New Deal. A startup in Sweden provides the solution: pogo sticks.

Cangoroo announced plans to deploy hundreds of pogo sticks in select cities to directly compete with electric scooters as a transportation option.

The sticks will launch in Stockholm and Malmo this summer. If all goes well, London and San Francisco are next.

Cangoroo emphasizes “the sustainability and fitness aspect to the pogo sticks.”

They had better watch it with the fitness aspect. Breathing heavily emits CO2, thereby contributing to global warming. It is to avoid CO2 that moonbats would commute to work on pogo sticks rather than drive a car like an unwoke person.

Mikkelsen said Cangoroo would be ready to work with city officials, including the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency, on regulations and safety before launching the product.

Grown adults bouncing around on pogo sticks could not reach maximum absurdity without safety helmets.

They just need one finishing touch: propellers on top of the safety helmets to generate green energy.

On a tip from DCGere. Hat tip: Weasel Zippers.

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