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Nov 06 2013

Preparing Children for Life Under Big Government

The right to own property is a natural right. Children are born understanding it, as these videos solicited by Jimmy Kimmel demonstrate:

The difference between these kids and food stamp recipients being told their benefits will be cut is that the children regard the candy as earned.

Note that just as they grasp property, they also understand that arbitrary confiscation by the authorities is unjust.

Maybe the trick was mean, but as Joseph Sobran has observed, sometimes cruelty is required to adjust kids to life under all-smothering Big Government.

I used to play the simple card game WAR with my son. After a while, when he thoroughly understood that the higher ranking cards beat the lower ranking ones, I created a new game I called GOVERNMENT. In this game, I was Government, and I won every trick, regardless of who had the better card.

In a statist society like ours is becoming, Big Government always wins. Who can contest the outcome?

Here’s a lesson for your son regarding the tax system:

Offer him, say, $10 to mow the lawn. When he has mowed it and asks to be paid, withhold $5 and explain that this is income tax. Give $1 to his younger brother, and tell him that this is “fair”. Also, explain that you need the other $4 yourself to cover the administrative costs of dividing the money. When he cries, tell him he is being “selfish” and “greedy”.

This lesson illustrates how the Judicial Branch functions:

When your child has matured sufficiently to understand how the judicial system works, set a bedtime for him and then send him to bed an hour early. When he tearfully accuses you of breaking the rules, explain that you made the rules and you can interpret them in any way that seems appropriate to you, according to changing conditions. This will prepare him for the Supreme Court’s concept of the U.S. Constitution as a “living document”.

So that lies like “If you like your healthcare plan, you can keep it” will never catch your offspring off guard,

Promise often to take him to the movies or the zoo, and then, at the appointed hour, recline in an easy chair with a newspaper and tell him you have changed your plans. When he screams, “But you promised!”, explain to him that it was a campaign promise.

When your child is willing to vote himself more of this treatment, you will know you have raised a proper tax slave willing to take his allotted place in Obama’s America.

On tips from Lyle.

10 Responses to “Preparing Children for Life Under Big Government”

  1. Kevin R. says:

    That’s about the size of it.

  2. Queef Odorman says:

    That’s so cruel!

    But then libs wuold just say, ‘ah, they’re only still a “fetus” let’s abort!’

  3. grayjohn says:

    That’s just f**king mean! Scarred for life they are, and just hope they don’t remember this when you are old and ill and defenseless.

  4. Momster says:

    I think that prank borders on child cruelty–just like what the government is doing to the taxpayers is cruelty.

    the government’s attitude would be that the parents (goverment) eatinig all the kids’ hard-earned candy was “for their own good.” They are too young to realize that candy is not good for them as they do not know how to handle it by eating only a couple of pieces a day–a couple of those kids did not look like the government would allow them to eat ANY candy at ANY time. They would get steamed broccoli instead. What’s that? You don’t LIKE steamed broccoli–well, that’s just too bad. You must eat your food (or spend what money we allow you to keep from what you have earned) the way the Government thinks is best for you?

    What?!?! you think YOU know what you want? You think you should be allowed to make your own decisions?

    Think again!

  5. Momster says:

    P.S.: Additionally the children who get the broccoli forced upon them will have to PAY for the privilege of being allowed to eat the nasty green stuff (Full disclosure, actually I LOVE broccoli). Unless of course they fall into a government-approved class of people who will have SNAP or EBT cards and can then use those to buy all the candy the want!

    Only the children of working taxpayers will have to eat the broccoli. (I just remembered a shot of Obama telling us that we have to eat our peas–well, they are green too.)

  6. Chris in N.Va. says:

    This should be read out loud while listening to the soothing (yet weirdly appropriate) lyrics of a timeless Tom Lehrer classic from the 1960s — The Masochism Tango.


  7. 762x51 says:

    “In a statist society like ours is becoming, Big Government always wins. Who can contest the outcome?”

    The short answer is EVERY ARMED CITIZEN!

    There is a gun fight coming to your neighborhood VERY soon people.

    Clean up America, kill a Communist.

  8. barfo says:

    The last little girl riot.

    The little black girl is absolutely adorable, Has more self control than many or most adults

  9. barfo says:

    Oops !

    The last little girl is a riot. ( fat fingers)

  10. Nutcase says:

    You make a great point, but as a side note, I’d say that the video is pretty disturbing. How spoiled-rotten these children are, that they think they can throw such fits and tell their parents that they “hate” them.

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