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Sep 13 2018

Resistance Prof Shoots Himself in Arm

This will teach Donald Trump. Mark Bird, an emeritus sociology professor at the College of Southern Nevada, shot himself in the arm on behalf of the Resistance.

He performed the deed in a campus bathroom with a .22.

None of the several witnesses who saw Mr. Bird stumble out of the bathroom and then collapse at about 8:15 a.m. initially knew the professor had shot himself, hearing only a loud noise and prompting a 911 call, police said.

As a result of the stunt, he faces various weapons charges.

Police noted in their report that the flighty professor shot himself in protest of Donald Trump.

So as not to encourage senseless violence, I would like to advise Professor Bird’s fellow members of the Resistance that it is not necessary to shoot yourself. If you stand in a crowded place, loudly proclaim your political views, and then grind a pie into your own face, it may be very nearly as effective. Give it a try.

On tips from Jester, Steve A, and Guy B.

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