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Jan 14 2020

Saving the Planet From Cafeteria Trays

Those woke to the anthropogenic global warming crisis know that anything made by humans might imperil the planet — even cafeteria trays. Good thing we have student government to keep the planet safe. From Michigan State University:

In an attempt to make dining at MSU more eco-friendly, trays in dining halls will not be an available option unless specifically requested once entering the cafeteria. …

According to the Associated Students of Michigan State University’s (ASMSU) Bill 56-30, doing away with trays will decrease food waste, energy waste, and water usage.

How can students waste food if they have no way to carry it? You find some smart cookies at universities.

The energy allegedly saved means few carbon emissions. According to current liberal dogma, that improves the weather by making it colder.

If only there were some way to get the word to the sacred man-eating polar bears, so they would know that they don’t need to worry anymore, now that the climate will no longer fluctuate thanks to the ecorighteous gestures of MSU’s student government.

Social engineering also plays a roll. The lack of trays will make students eat less by “encouraging conscious portion sizes.”

However, this introduces a complication. Complains graduate Kelsie Luokkala,

“No one should have to go through the embarrassment of having to ask for a tray and then having to explain themselves…there shouldn’t be a stigma around having a tray, but there will be.”

Stigma over cafeteria trays could lead to fatphobia, an acknowledged thought crime.

MSU’s student government must pass a bill to stamp out stigma once and for all. Otherwise, who knows where it might end? One day there could be a stigma over collecting welfare, or indulging in sexual perversions, or even having children out of wedlock.

On a tip from Dragon’s Lair. Hat tip: Legal Insurrection.

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