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Mar 11 2019

Ten Years Before Climate Doom

When Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez squeaked that the world will end in 12 years if we don’t take apocalyptic action to prevent climate doom, some people laughed insouciantly. I bet they aren’t laughing now. From the Associated Press:

Noel Brown, director of the New York office of the U.N. Environment Program … said governments have a 10-year window of opportunity to solve the greenhouse effect before it goes beyond human control.

As the warming melts polar icecaps, ocean levels will rise by up to three feet, enough to cover the Maldives and other flat island nations, Brown told The Associated Press in an interview on Wednesday.

The article screams that “entire nations could be wiped off the face of the Earth by rising sea levels if the global warming trend is not reversed” in a decade.

Not only will we drown, we will starve.

Shifting climate patterns would bring back 1930s Dust Bowl conditions to Canadian and U.S. wheatlands…

The cause of the encroaching catastrophe is “carbon dioxide is pouring into the atmosphere because of humanity’s use of fossil fuels.”

Okay, let’s not panic. We have to act methodically. First, we will ban air travel and cows, as per the Green New Deal. Then, we limit automobile use to important government officials. Massive carbon taxes will be required, so high as to prevent people from heating their homes. We can spend the money rebuilding every single building in America so as to be more energy efficient. We must hurry; the clock is ticking. We have the children to think of! Then we will impose draconian…

Hold on, I just noticed this article is dated June 1989, before AOC had even been born. Never mind.

On tips from Lyle and Kate P.

One Response to “Ten Years Before Climate Doom”

  1. […] screeched by Associated Press that we had 10 years to repeal the industrial revolution or face climate doom. As it turned out, the only reason to wear a gas mask in NYC is to avoid inhaling all the […]

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