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May 31 2013

Venezuelan Authorities Seize Toilet Paper Stockpile

In a progressive utopia like Venezuela, the selfish are never allowed to withhold from The People precious rare commodities like toilet paper:

Police in Venezuela say they have seized nearly 2,500 rolls of toilet paper in an overnight raid of a clandestine warehouse storing scarce goods.

The Thursday announcement on Twitter said that the officers raiding the garage in western Caracas also seized about 400 diapers and 7,000 liters of fruit juice.

Police chief Luis Karabin told Venezuelan news agency AVN that police, acting on a telephone tip, found “merchandise that we know is scarce on the shelves and doesn’t reach the people.”

Toilet paper is hard to find in Venezuelan grocery stores, as are staple food items such as sugar, milk and cooking oil.

Why are even these basic staples rare in a country floating on a lake of precious oil, a country that if free would be luxuriously wealthy? Because under socialism, the only things that aren’t scarce are taxes, coercion, and misery.

Yet we shamble toward it, like idiot cows being led to a slaughterhouse.

On a tip from Wiggins.

27 Responses to “Venezuelan Authorities Seize Toilet Paper Stockpile”

  1. JN says:

    I could go to Costco right now and buy 2500 rolls and not even clean them out.

  2. bjd says:

    $h!t just got real!

  3. Spider says:

    You can bet millions of welfare parasites and tens-of-millions of illegals are eating hot meals, but our combat warriors? Apparently, America doesn’t feel fighting and dying for their country makes them worthy of a hot meal. And incredibly, they still volunteer to fight for a country that doesn’t care about them.

  4. d says:

    For the moonbat, lack of toilet paper is in fact one of the hallmark signs of a utopia.

    We have to remember here, the moonbat’s deep affinity for all things fecal. Think of how they like to collect jars of urine and store compost heaps consisting of their own excrement in their basements. They simply love to be surrounded by their own putrid waste products.

    So the inability to wipe one’s own ass is a windfall of fecal fantasy making for them.

    I’m sure the thought of collecting feces in the ass of their crack fills them with unending joy. Imagine all of the pseduoscientific rationalizations they’ll come up with to promote an unclean buttocks.

    “Feces provides moisture which can be reclaimed by the body if held against the skin.”

    “It’s like an exfoliating mud mask for your butt.”

    “There is macrobiotic bacteria in excrement which help to clean the surface of the skin as they eat dead layers of the epidermis.”

    “The odor human manure releases helps to clear nasal passages when in the sitting position.”

    “It’s organic!”

    So let’s face facts here. Lack of toilet paper is not a problem for the moonbat, because they revel in lack of hygiene. They pine for it.

  5. Cameraman says:

    That”s why they are called AssHats and the Reverse of that would Be SHIT HEADS , Just can”t explain
    it any better!
    Semper Fi

  6. Dr. 9 says:

    For this Marxist administration, Freedom of the Press means, you are free to report exactly what we tell you to report!

    Message to the MSM: Be careful what you wish for…

  7. Wizard45 says:

    The lefty tree-huggers had better “saddle up” and head for Venezuela. I predict there will soon be several varieties of trees “denuded” by desparate Venezuelans.

  8. Martin Vorbrodt says:

    What is it with the fucking communists and the fucking toilet paper?!?!??! When I was growing up in commie Poland, toilet paper was one of the hardest things to get!!! Almost as hard as real meat!!! WTF?!?!

  9. GoinSane says:

    Wow, that stockpile is not even enough for .001% of the people. That might be enough for maybe 15-20 families for a year. They didn’t say what happened to the person who was storing the stuff for his family and friends. I assume he was dragged out into the street and shot.

  10. Son of Taz says:

    We’ll need a lot more than that to clean out the White House in 2016.

  11. Kevin R. says:

    They won’t let you save money, and then when they destroy money they won’t let you save anything at all.

    Collectivists are freaking locusts.

  12. Flu-Bird says:

    Sheryle Crow should enjoy it in that wacko country where TP is reugulated by the eco-nazis

  13. Cornholio says:

    What a glorious collective worker’s utopia where you can’t even have some TP for your bunghole.

  14. Earl Floyd Bobby says:

    I knew lefty rat totalitarians were full of shit but this is ridiculous.

  15. opiate-of-the-livs says:

    Congratulations Chavez.. now Venezuela has officially gone down the sh*tter.

  16. Jester says:

    Just wait: In 10 more years we’ll all be reading this exact story with the word “America” replacing “Venezuela”.

  17. Ghost of FA Hayek says:

    The tp shortage will soon align with food shortages and cancel each other out.
    See how efficient Socialism is ?

  18. Eoin says:

    My people, we are without bungholes!

  19. The Great Commissar says:


  20. Fist Pumping Mania says:

    Bwahaha! Eoin and Herr Kommissar thanks I needed a laugh today.

  21. Libs Suck says:

    Does that include songs such as “Jizz in my pants?” They have a fascination with all things sexual and ejaculatory fluid.

  22. r says:

    Here’s another lefty rationalization:

    “Human excrement has a natural SPF of 30. So for nudists who don’t fall into the capitalist habit of wiping, all they have to do is reach around and scoop out a dollop of purely organic fecal sunscreen that they can rub all over their bodies to protect themselves from the Sun’s harmful rays. Best of all, it’s free so you don’t have to contribute to the profiteering of the big corporate sunscreen conglomerates.”

  23. Freddie Sykes says:

    If Jimmy Carter was president of Venezuela, he would solve the problem by mandating odd-even pooping days.

  24. Sam Adams says:

    No one has asked the question “who paid for that toilet paper?” Surely it wasn’t a charitable gift from the manufacturer.

    Either it was purchased, stolen, purchased, then stolen, or purchased and now stolen by the collective.

    Hint to socialists…..we don’t have shortages of toilet paper in capitalist countries. You can buy toilet paper at hundreds of stores. If you use up all your toilet paper, capitalists will make more.

    Only problem is that they expect to be compensated for their time and effort. Pay them money….neverending supplies of toilet paper. Don’t pay….no TP. Use leaves, pine cones, or do it like the folks in the middle east.

  25. smartass punk says:

    Is that an acutal song libs suck? Hmm…this search engine other than lame ass google says it is! Some bunch of loser rejects called lonely island.

  26. Peter North says:

    Capitalist tax payers paid for it Sammy.

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