Due to the ludicrous jihad against plastic straws based on a phony statistic invented by a 9-year-old, it is a criminal act to serve plastic straws in Santa Barbara, punishable by up to 6 months in prison per straw.

Who would tolerate this lunatic tyranny? Santa Barbarians would — and they want more:

These cretins want to impose every nitwit notion rattling around in their hollow skulls on the rest of us. They vote.

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