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Dec 08 2017

Woman to Marry Chandelier

It didn’t take long to get from homosexual “marriage” to this:

Amanda Liberty, 33, of Leeds, said she proposed to her favorite chandelier on Valentine’s Day while continuing an open relationship with the rest of her collection of 25 chandeliers.

Why should she commit to just a single chandelier, even if she is marrying it? After all, we are meant to regard marriage as a joke now.

“You can’t control who you fall in love with and things just went from there,” Liberty told Caters News.

“I love kissing and cuddling Lumiere,” she says. Lumiere is the chandelier’s name.

Liberals will be delighted to learn that it is not only an open but a same-sex marriage, as she refers to the chandelier with feminine pronouns.

On a tip from J.



31 Responses to “Woman to Marry Chandelier”

  1. Occam's Stubble says:

    That’s the problem. If marriage can be anything, then it is nothing.

  2. richard says:

    You light up my life. That was too easy.

  3. AuntieMeh says:

    “You turn ME on”

  4. Frank says:

    By far! ;~)

  5. Frank says:

    I’m going to marry my jump boots. (Twins are so damned sexy!) You’re all invited. Hint: Polish and laces make fine gifts…

  6. Frank says:

    Marriage: the preliminary stage of alimony and child support.

  7. Rock ThisTown says:

    1) It will be a delightful double-bulb ceremony. Unfortunately, one of them is dim.

    2) Who leads during their wedding dance?

    3) The chandelier plans on switching to LEDs on their honeymoon night b/c we all know LEDs last longer.

    4) The lovely couple is registered at Westinghouse & Tiffany & Co.

    5) The wedding planner suggested that no one be allowed to swing from the other chandeliers following the ceremony.

    6) In the event of a power outage while the chandelier recites its vows, there will be generators standing by.

    7) To avoid offending the chandelier community, no candles will be used.

  8. John27 says:

    You’re just a light fixturephobe.

  9. Frank says:

    Jeez, life used to be so damned simple. The bride (a cisfemale) promised to love, honor and obey the groom (a cismale), then they got it on. Damn, how I hate the 21st century!

  10. Mack says:

    So does she swing from the chandelier, or with the chandelier?

  11. George Lortz says:

    No wonder the muzzies are over-running Britain; the natives are batshit crazy.

  12. BiffWellington says:

    I can’t wait to find out if the chandelier said “yes”!

  13. Frank says:

    “Yes” means “maybe, unless I change my mind.” Maybe and no mean NO! Romantic, eh?

  14. Frank says:

    Any citizens who permit their government to disarm them are batshit crazy.

  15. MAS says:

    Lighten up Dave, it’s love…

  16. Mike_W20 says:

    The illuminati are taking over the world.

  17. 127guy says:

    The bulbs must be replaced with rainbow ones immediately.

  18. Steven Yarnell says:

    Lumiere was a candelabrum! XD

  19. Saxon Warrior says:

    Good one!

  20. Dorthy says:

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  21. Frank says:

    Suck it, “Dorothy”!

  22. Franklyfrank says:

    Why mental issues shouldn’t be ignored.

  23. FromNJ says:

    I love lamp.

  24. GOPcongress says:

    It is obscene that this story is handled with legitimacy by an ostensibly professional news organization than through a more reasonable approach, which would involve calling the whitecoats and nothing more.

  25. Margaret says:

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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  26. Jack Poland says:

    Well OF COURSE the chandelier is female. Homophobe.

  27. […] Moonbattery covers a woman marrying a chandelier […]

  28. bigg_tomm_2000 says:

    What happened to the days when the butterfly boys would take people to the rubber room?

  29. BradenLynch says:

    This is why antipsychotics were invented.

  30. markflag says:

    But, but, but . .. . they are a form of chemical restraint!!!!!


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