The media had some convinced that the war in Ukraine is the most momentous event since twin socialist dictators Hitler and Stalin invaded Poland, justifying the flushing of gargantuan sums of our money down the drain. Turns out it’s not such a big deal after all. Putin might win over our rulers to his side, if he would just make a few politically correct noises about the imaginary climate crisis:

Outgoing Special Presidential Envoy for Climate (SPEC) John Kerry claimed that people would “feel better” about the ongoing war in Ukraine if Russia would “make a greater effort to reduce emissions.”

Putin will now hamstring his own country’s energy-based economy out of sheer moonbattery in order to indulge John Kerry in his delusional ideology. Or maybe he’ll just laugh.

“If Russia wanted to show good faith, they could go out and announce what their reductions are going to be and make a greater effort to reduce emissions now,” Kerry said during a foreign press briefing on Tuesday in Washington, D.C., his last as the SPEC, as he departed from the position Wednesday to reportedly join President Biden’s presidential re-election campaign.

Also, it would be nice to know what Putin is doing about mischievous leprechauns, which pose no less of a threat to the planet than minor fluctuations in the weather that no one can control anyway.

There is no clown like a pompous clown:

On tips from Varla and the Great Cornholio.

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