Nineteen-year-old DOGE staffer Edward Coristine was known to us as “Big Balls.” As we learned when he was set upon by savages in DC, they nicknamed him right:

Coristine … was assaulted around 3:00 a.m. Sunday by a group of teenagers in the city’s Logan Circle neighborhood. The teens attempted to carjack him and a woman, whom police identified as his significant other, according to authorities.

Rather than panic,

Coristine pushed the woman into the vehicle for safety and turned to confront the group. At least several of the teens then attacked him, police said, until officers patrolling nearby intervened.

He had no way of knowing he would be so lucky.

For reasons that must not be mentioned, the District of Columbia can no longer be governed locally. It has not been part of the civilized world for years. Elections produce the likes of Marion Barry and Muriel Bowser.

Donald Trump and Elon Musk sensibly call for the federal government to step in and restore order:

Thanks to Scott Jennings, even CNN now knows that Americans are fed up with the violence Democrats have inflicted on us by dismantling civilization:

On a tip from abcanc.