Though there may be nothing more loathsome than pampered Ivy League leftists, even they can brighten our day with a laugh. Johannah King-Slutzky, instructor, PhD candidate, and anticolonialist revolutionary at Columbia, makes her alimentary demands:

The original is no less absurd:

Via Fox News:

A Columbia University graduate student went viral online after telling members of the media that protesters were at risk of dying or becoming severely ill if authorities did not deliver food and water to them.

This while the protesters had been breaking windows and barricading themselves inside an illegally occupied building as part of a spectacle supporting Islamic terrorists in their war on civilization.

“I guess it’s ultimately a question of what kind of community and obligation Columbia feels it has to its students,” King-Slutzky said. “Do you want students to die of dehydration and starvation or get severely ill, even if they disagree with you?”

Personally, what I would want for King-Slutzky and the light in the loafers jihadist with the belly button behind her would involve a giant can of bug spray. We can dream, can’t we?

She continued: “If the answer is no then you should allow basic — I mean, it’s crazy to say since we’re on an Ivy League campus — but this is like, basic humanitarian aid we’re asking for, like could people please have a glass of water?”

As if there were no running water in Hamilton Hall.

When it comes to “humanitarian aid,” at least her Door Dash demands would be less expensive than the $320 million of our money Biden is spending on a floating pier for Hamas to reward it for the October 7 terror atrocities.

King-Slutzky presents her curriculum vitae:

My dissertation is on fantasies of limitless energy in the transatlantic Romantic imagination from 1760-1860. My goal is to write a prehistory of metabolic rift, Marx’s term for the disruption of energy circuits caused by industrialization under capitalism. I am particularly interested in theories of the imagination and poetry as interpreted through a Marxian lens in order to update and propose an alternative to historicist ideological critiques of the Romantic imagination. Prior to joining Columbia, I worked as a political strategist for leftist and progressive causes and remain active in the higher education labor movement.

The point of the Ivy League is to staff our leftist ruling class. Hats off to Ms. King-Slutzky for reminding us how useless these people are.

On tips from Varla and OldSailor.