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Jul 15 2022

Floating Tutu to Save Boston From Global Warming

Moonbats create fanciful problems. They address them with fanciful solutions. Some want to rescue Boston from the imaginary global warming crisis with a “floating tutu.”

Contrary to the prognostications of their prophet Al Gore, the ice caps are not melting nor are the seas rising appreciably. Yet moonbats manage to believe that coastal cities will soon be submerged. So the Experts have proposed littering Boston’s shoreline with miniature offshore swamps.

From the Boston Globe:

The “Emerald Tutu” is a proposed system of floating vegetation mats that, when interconnected, could protect Boston’s shoreline from rising sea levels and coastal flooding. The tutu could also serve as a cosmetic attraction to Boston Harbor.

At least it might be less of an eyesore than nearly as useless offshore windfarms.

“In the long term, I want to see thousands and thousands of these units deployed in the harbor and buffering the shoreline like a giant sponge from the intense climate-driven storms that are inevitably coming our way,” said Gabriel Cira, a Massachusetts licensed architect and project lead for the tutu.

Someone needs to get word to Joe Biden that climate catastrophe is coming “inevitably” no matter what we do. Then he might bring down prices by allowing us to access our own oil, which unlike Saudi oil causes climate change according to Democrat doctrine.

Each individual unit of the tutu has a distinctive circular shape and is roughly seven feet in diameter, with marsh grasses decorating the floating tops and aquatic plants and seaweed attached to the submerged portion.

For maximum political correctness, they should be decorated with Black Lives Matter and LGBT pride flags.

The units are made of biodegradable materials including recycled wood, burlap canvas, and coconut fiber.

Because of course they are. In climate-compliant utopia, everything in our huts will be made of recycled garbage held together with coconut fiber.

Let’s hope the floating tutu costs taxpayers less than the $350,000 apiece electrification of Boston school buses, which was intended to prevent climate change and paid for with federal Covid funds.

The team is working to incorporate “climate justice” into the project’s plans, looking to earn support in communities where the issue of coastal flooding is most pressing.

As the World Economic Forum has informed us, global warming is more harmful for communities higher up on the Cultural Marxist pyramid of favor.

According to Cira, enabling climate justice in East Boston has been a goal for the tutu.

Whenever you see a modifier before the word “justice,” you know that the issue is not the issue; the issue is moonbattery for the sake of moonbattery.

On a tip from Jack D.


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