The reason we need omnipresent, all-powerful government is that people cannot be trusted to manage even the most picayune details of their own lives. Germans understand. They plan to mandate that all dog-owners walk their dogs twice a day, for an hour each time:

Under the new regulations in the Hundeverordnung, or Dogs Act, owners will not get away with a quick jog round the block, but will be required to take their dogs out for at least one hour on each occasion.

Like all righteous regulations, this is based on science:

[Minister of Food and Agriculture Julia] Klöckner said the rules were based on new scientific findings that show dogs need a “sufficient measure of activity and contact with environmental stimuli”, including other animals, nature and people. The tethering of dogs on a chain or a lead for long periods also faces an all-out ban.

They go further:

Dogs may not be left alone at home all day, and a person will be required to take care of their dog “several times a day”.

Who knew dogs had so much pull with Big Government? Next there will be regulations banning dog cones for dogs, but requiring all cats to wear them.

The Nanny State’s work will not be concluded until every conceivable act is either mandatory or verboten. What if someone walks their dog 15 times per day? The dog could get sore paws. Future regulations will need to be more specific, mandating that dogs must be walked neither less nor more than twice per day.

On a tip from Bluto.

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