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Nov 09 2020

Media Calls Election; COVID Is Over

Looks like the Babylon Bee has given up trying to satirize a political situation engulfed in moonbattery that is beyond parody. This turned out to be straight news:

After almost a year of suffering under a devastating killer pandemic, America was relieved to learn that the pandemic is officially over. …

[Squeaked] Brian Stelter in a tear-filled monologue. “But we truly underestimated just how powerful Biden’s healing powers were. We are proud to declare this pandemic officially over. It went away. Just like a miracle. Praise be!”

As it turns out, Biden’s secret plan to deal with the pandemic was simply to get elected.

Sure enough, immediately upon the media declaring Biden to be the next president, a vaccine appeared, almost as if someone were waiting to be cued:

Pfizer and BioNTech announced Monday their coronavirus vaccine was more than 90% effective in preventing Covid-19 among those without evidence of prior infection, hailing the development as “a great day for science and humanity.”

Now that the Orange Man has been defeated, the sun emerges from behind the clouds and warms our smiling upturned faces.

Or, from another point of view, COVID-19 has served its purpose and can now be discarded.

Ever feel like we are just extras on a movie set, being manipulated by a hidden director to comply with a prewritten script?

On tips from Henry, Mr. Freemarket, Varla, and ABC of the ANC.

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