As the Episcopal Church, Anglican Church, and United Church of Christ illustrate, a veneer of Christianity can be sprayed on anything. It has even been applied to sex toys:

“Christian” Sex Toys?! We ignite intimacy for married lovers by providing a safe, curated, enjoyable Christian sex toy & marital aid shopping experience.

No worries; Christian Love Toys has guidelines:

1. For Heterosexual Married Couples, NOT Singles or Dating Couples
2. Your Motivation Matters: Sacrificial Love & Service of Your Spouse
3. There IS Such a Thing as Inappropriate Sex in Marriage
4. Enjoy Toys WITH Your Beloved, Not Alone
5. NEVER Coerce, Pressure or Manipulate Your Spouse [to “Try Something New”]
6. Pray & Communicate Openly With Your Spouse
7. HAVE FUN & LOTS of Orgasms!

Here’s a guideline: Leave the sex toys to degenerates.

On a tip from Mike B.