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Feb 13 2023

Saving the Climate by Polluting the Seas With Antacid

Imaginary crises call for whimsical solutions — like curing the nonexistent climate problem by polluting the ocean with Rolaids:

The ocean plays a critical role in curbing climate change. Like forests and wetlands, it naturally recycles carbon dioxide from the atmosphere at a massive scale.

[Canadian oceanographer Will] Burt works for Planetary Technologies, a Canadian startup that’s attempting to harness and accelerate that potential by adding antacid powder to the ocean.

The theory goes that by altering seawater chemistry, the ocean’s surface could absorb far more atmospheric carbon than it does naturally.

This would deny the precious nutrient CO2 to the crops that thrive on it. The effect on marine life cannot be known in advance. But the important thing is for moonbats to be cutting edge in their lunacy while posturing righteously as defenders of the climate.

Planetary intends to recycle mine waste from a defunct asbestos mine in Quebec to produce pure magnesium hydroxide, which the company believes would help accelerate the ocean’s carbon uptake ability in the areas where it’s used.

Raising funds is no problem:

The e-commerce giant Shopify has already committed to purchasing 730 tons in future carbon credits from the company — a move designed to accelerate its efforts to perfect the method.

If corporate moonbats wanting to purchase green virtue for public relations purposes don’t cough up enough cash, Big Government can always step in by printing some more.

Another bright idea entails “shooting lasers to electrochemically change the water’s chemistry.” Hopefully Austin Powers will arrive in time to stop Dr. Evil from putting any of this into practice.

The Top 10 Craziest Solutions to Global Warming list needs extending. At least choking the seas with magnesium hydroxide couldn’t be any more catastrophic than filling the air with sulfur to block out the sun, as Bill Gates wants to do.

On a tip from Wiggins.


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