It’s not enough to force all people to wear masks. Cows must be forced to wear them too. Progressives fret that cattle emit methane, contributing to allegedly problematic global warming, so…

Zelp, a UK-based company, has developed a potential solution in the form of a burp-catching face mask for cows, designed to reduce methane emissions from cattle by 60 per cent. …

The mask fits comfortably on a cow’s head with a zip-tie-like mechanism allowing it to be adjusted to various cattle’s head sizes depending on the breed. It is applied to cattle after they are weaned, usually at 6-8 months of age, and sits next to the nostrils, allowing the tool to capture methane from their breathing, belches and burps. …

At the tip of the mask, a sensor detects when the cow exhales and the percentage of methane that is expelled. When methane levels get too high, the mask channels the gas towards an oxidation mechanism inside, which contains a catalyst that converts methane into CO2 and water, and expels it from the device.

Not even cows are safe from moonbat intrusiveness. However, cowing them into wearing the masks voluntarily will be difficult. Cattle are likely to find something to scrape the devices against in an attempt to get them off, damaging them in the process. In the meantime, plenty of unregulated methane will escape via the rear exit.

It is doubtful that ranchers will volunteer to invest time and money in cow masks that only a liberal bureaucrat could believe will stop the climate from fluctuating. If the masks are used, it will be because they have been mandated. We will pay for them, either directly through taxes or indirectly through higher prices.

On a tip from R F. Hat tip: Watts Up With That?

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