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Apr 10 2021

Moonbat Q-Tip Saves Planet

There are two main ways to separate foolish ecomoonbats from their money: (1) you can greenwash an existing product by pretending that it is environmentally correct, for example, by packaging it in a plastic bottle wrapped in paper and labeled “Hello, I’m Paper Bottle”; or (2) you can create a new product that only a moonbat would use, for example, a reusable Q-tip — namely, LastSwab:

According to the packaging, “There is no Planet B” and by wasting your money on a reusable swab that will get all gunked up with gross substances from inside your ear, “YOU JUST SAVED THE PLANET FROM UP TO 1000 COTTON SWABS.”

An ad promises that liberals will ban normal Q-tips anyway, so you might as well buy your LastSwab now and beat the rush.

Most everyone feels a need to be moral. Since moonbats have rejected meaningful morality, they attempt to compensate with displays of ideological devotion. The more disgusting and inconvenient the LastSwab, the greater the sacrifice on behalf of moonbattery, the more likely moonbats are to buy it.

Sensible people will instead throw their used Q-tips in the garbage rather than flushing them down the toilet, so that they will decompose in a landfill, causing no harm to the planet.

On a tip from Mitchell B.


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