May 15, 2008
British Convicts Live Better on the Inside
A few people actually benefit from moonbattery. For example, as a consequence of liberalism gone wild, British convicts live better in prison than on the outside.
Wesley Crawford was sentenced to 12 years for robbery. After escaping from Sudbury "open prison" in Derbyshire, he came back and pleaded to be let back in, so he could continue to enjoy unlocked doors, a TV, a wide choice of food, a gym, snooker and ping-pong facilities, etc.
According to a Sudbury prison source:
He basically said that it was much more cushy being inside prison than it was on the outside. And he still believes that — even though he has now been sent to a closed prison.
No wonder the number of prisoners absconding is at its lowest level in 10 years, even as the prison population increases.
On a tip from Oiao.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:49 AM | Comments (14) | TrackBack (0)
Eco-Friendly Underwear
There isn't much that hasn't been greenwashed in an attempt to capitalize on the enviromoonbattery craze — including underwear.
Triump International Japan has unveiled an environmentally friendly "Solar Power Bra" that allegedly generates enough electricity to charge a mobile phone or iPod. Unfortunately it requires direct sunlight, and women tend to wear clothes over their bras. But as with all things environmental, it's the gesture that counts, not actual effectiveness.
Testifies model Yuko Ishida:
It is very comfortable and I can really feel involved in eco-friendly efforts as well.
The company also markets a bra that serves Gaia by converting into a reusable shopping bag.
On tips from Wiggins and Burning Hot.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:15 AM | Comments (13) | TrackBack (0)
Ruben Navarette Explains Why You're a Racist if You Don't Vote for Obama
While confirming that we are politically obligated to vote for Barack Obama because he is a mulatto, moonbat columnist Ruben Navarette Jr. helpfully explains why it isn't racism that virtually all blacks vote for the absurdly under-qualified black guy, but it is racism if most white people don't:
The answer has to do with history. Over the decades, black Americans have had plenty of opportunities to vote for white people for president. And they have done so. But this is the first time that white Americans have a chance to vote for an African-American with a shot at the presidency.
In today's political climate, a cretin like Navarette passes for an intellectual. Like Obama, he does have ethnic credentials, and that's the important thing.
Hat tip: LGF; on a tip from Burning Hot.
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:27 AM | Comments (26) | TrackBack (0)
May 14, 2008
Government Moves toward Total Control with Phony Polar Bear Listing
They are actually doing it: listing polar bears as a "threatened" species.
Polar bears are not the least threatened. Alarmingly, the numbers of these human-hunting monsters have been on the rise. Their population has more than doubled since 1960.
But according to global warming doctrine, even as their numbers swell, polar bears qualify as oppressed, because if all the polar ice were to melt, it would interfere with their seal-hunting methods.
The ice is not going to melt any time soon. The slight warming trend profiteers like Al Gore are exploiting ended ten years ago. Even if it did melt, polar bears have survived interglacial periods before.
But facts like these apply only to reality, not to the 2+2=5 world of hard left politics.
In the unholy alliance between government bureaucrats and leftist environmental groups, both have their own objectives. The bureaucrats want absolute control: a level of totalitarianism undreamt of by Hitler and Stalin. Leftist environmentalists want to strangle capitalism and radically curtail the human race.
Now that the government has officially endorsed the preposterous notion that CO2 emitted anywhere in the world is harmful to sacred polar bears, there is no constructive activity — literally including breathing — that is not vulnerable to increasingly repressive regulation and lawsuits.
In the future, we will live in a grim, socialist world, where personal initiative will be not only senseless but illegal. Individual liberty will not exist, less someone emit more than their allotted share of harmless CO2. Our standard of living will collapse. Humans will be forced to live like animals in a zoo, every aspect of our lives under strict control.
Polar bears will not benefit from this in any way, as if it would matter if they did. But the John McCains and Robert Kennedy Juniors of the world will be riding high.
On tips from mega, matterhorn, and Oiao.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:29 PM | Comments (24) | TrackBack (0)
Senate Dems Stand Firm: No Relief from High Gas Prices
Want gas prices lowered? Want to stop pouring $billions into terror-supporting Islamic regimes? Then vote to throw out the moonbat Democrats running the Senate:
[T]he Senate rejected, 56-42, a broader Republican energy plan that called for opening the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge in Alaska and some offshore waters that are now off limits to oil development.
Republican leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky said more domestic oil production is needed to keep prices in check and to reduce U.S. dependence on oil imports. But opponents said the Alaska wildlife refuge and coastal waters that have been off limits to drilling for 25 years ought to remain out of bounds to oil companies.
"We can't drill our way to lower prices," said Sen. Richard Durbin, D-Ill.
Turban — the same liberal jackass who compared our army to Pol Pot's thugs — didn't explain how else we would lower prices, increasing supply being out of the question so long as Democrats and their RINO accomplices run Washington.
Hat tip: Free Republic; on a tip from Cheetah.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:16 AM | Comments (33) | TrackBack (0)
San Franfreakshow Introduces Parking Meters for Bums
As if concerned that even a quarter dropped in a derelict's coffee cup might challenge bureaucratic hegemony, San Francisco is taking control of micro charity with parking meters for homeless people.
Instead of giving your change to a person, you put it in a machine, so the bureaucracy can dole out the right amounts to the right constituencies.
SF's "homelessness czar," Dariush Kayhna, modestly admits:
This is not going to solve poverty. But it is another strategy to see if we can save lives out there.
Homeless advocates upped the absurdity ante by whining about stereotypes. Who says bums blow all their free change on drugs and alcohol? Wails Sister Bernie Galvin of Religious Witness with Homeless People:
Forget the children, forget the mothers who are struggling to raise their family homeless or in inadequate housing. Will the city never give up on trying to find ways to make the lives of homeless people harder?
In counterpoint to Sister Bernie's bleeding-heart rhetoric, San Francisco's moonbatty policies have attracted bums from all over the world, causing the city to be so overrun with them that even liberal bureaucrats, who exploit derelicts as justification for socialist policies, want to lower their numbers.
On a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:48 AM | Comments (12) | TrackBack (0)
British Bureaucracy Puts the Screws to Elderly Vet over Ketchup Bottle
Growing ever more arrogant and intolerant as they expand their power under cover of the enviromoonbattery craze, for two weeks British bureaucreeps refused to pick up the trash of Lenny Woodward, a former Desert Rat, because the nearly blind 95-year-old vet accidentally put a ketchup bottle and a coffee jar in the wrong bin.
Comrades are to use the blue wheelie bin for cans and cardboard, a green box for glass, and a black wheelie bin for everything else. The lawless Mr. Woodward put his ketchup bottle and coffee jar in the blue bin, heedless of the disastrous impact this could have on the biosphere.
Actually, recycling is an ineffective waste of time except in the case of aluminum cans. But obeying the government is its own reward.
Hat tip: Michelle Malkin; on tips from wz, Burning Hot, Cheetah, and essemess.
Posted by Van Helsing at 6:56 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack (0)
May 13, 2008
The Obamessiah and His Cheesy White Steed
As I was just saying about the Obama phenomenon going beyond parody…
This picture, evidently with no sarcasm intended, accompanied an endorsement of B.O. by the Oregon newspaper Willamette Week:
Just try exaggerating the absurdity of Barack O'Bigot and his moonbat supporters. It cannot be done.
Via The Stranger, Ace of Spades HQ, and Caption This!
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:19 PM | Comments (24) | TrackBack (0)
Palestinians Running Phone Banks for Obama
The notion of Barack Obama becoming President is so preposterous, it cannot be parodied. This al-Jazeera report about Palestinians in Gaza — the folks who elected the terror group Hamas to run the government — appears to be completely on the level. The same folks who passed out candy in celebration on 9/11 are running phone banks in support of their hero Obama.
Via The Campaign Spot; on a tip from Oiao.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:58 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (1)
Islamic Horde Runs Rampant in Britainistan
It used to be that the sun never set on the British Empire. But with terrifying speed, moonbattery has reduced it to a tragic remnant of its former glory — a sickly, dying nation that can no longer keep out foreign enemies or even maintain order on its streets.
Via Glen Jenvey, on a tip from AC.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:39 PM | Comments (16) | TrackBack (0)
Envirokook Paul McCartney's Hybrid Limo Delivered by Jet
Like many tired old pop stars with nothing better to do, Paul McCartney has ostentatiously embraced the phony environmentalism craze. Like the rest of them, his "carbon footprint" remains many times larger than those of us peasants, especially after his new $164,000 hybrid Lexus limousine was delivered by jet, creating 100 times more of the carbon emissions moonbats fret about than if it had been shipped.
The point of the car is that it will supposedly reduce these same harmless emissions. How emblematic of the entire pointless fad.
McCartney is said to be furious. But if he wants to make it up to Gaia, all he has to do is stop living like a Czar for a few days.
On tips from HoosierArmyMom, mega, and Wiggins.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:19 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack (1)
Kudos from Count Dracula to Count Baracula
You have to hand to Barack O'Bigot: it can't be easy, especially following his denunciation of flag pins, to actually put one in his lapel in hopes of duping idiots into believing that, unlike everyone he's surrounded himself with since he was a small child, he doesn't hate this country. Even Count Dracula acknowledges the will-power it must take:
Compliments of Burning Hot.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:00 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack (0)
Britain's Pagan Prisoners Must Be Allowed Magic Wands
It isn't just Muslims who qualify as special in British prisons. Pagan inmates must be allowed to keep twigs in their cells to use as magic wands:
Officers have been told to allow prisoners to collect and decorate the twigs which they need for their rituals.
No one seems to have thought of the havoc that will ensue if the pagans wave their magic wands and make all the doors come unlocked — or the more likely scenario of a magic wand ending up in a guard's eye.
Hat tip: Ghost of a flea; on a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:01 AM | Comments (16) | TrackBack (0)
Post-Gazette Applies the "Assimilate or Be Called a Racist" Strategy
Obama Nation's strategy of caricaturing any opposition as "racist" is on ignoble display in today's Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, which throws an unseemly tantrum over O'Bigot's expected drubbing in West Virginia.
Shrillary's undisputable observation that working class white people aren't going to be enthused about voting for an arugula-munching black supremacist are depicted as an attempt to pander to alleged Dixieland racism, as if West Virginia were part of the Confederacy, and not a state explicitly created to split off from the South. Comparisons to Jesse Jackson are "coded speech." The childish looks of horror that contort Chris Matthews' huge yellow head whenever someone fails to kneel at the altar of Obamamania are confirmation of the racist iniquity of those who would resist assimilation.
Sneers the PG:
So, tonight the polls will close and Mrs. Clinton will have easily collected 99 percent of the white vote in West Virginia. She will crow about her electability in a smug but meaningless victory speech on a stage featuring dozens of "hard-working Americans, white Americans" standing behind her waving flags. […] While no Confederate battle flags will be visible, they will feel it in the air. Mrs. Clinton's greatest victory will be a triumph of the kind of identity politics that makes a nation smaller.
No mention is made of the 99.9999% or so of blacks who support Obama. Remember, supporting him because he's a mulatto is transcending race.
On a tip from General Jack D. Ripper.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:36 AM | Comments (11) | TrackBack (0)
Undercover Agents Protect America from Unlicensed Taxi Menace
When 78-year-old Rosco O'Neil walked into a Winn-Dixie in Miami Gardens, Florida, he was accosted by a woman who asked if he was running a car service. He told her no, but after she persisted that she needed help getting her groceries home, agreed to give her a ride when she was finished shopping. He never brought up payment, but the woman insisted on a price.
It was a clever sting operation. After he dropped her off, police closed in, issuing him two citations and impounding his minivan, which it cost him $400 to recover, on top of $2,000 in fines.
There were no prior complaints of O'Neil providing taxi service without shelling out for official government accreditation. But these things have to be nipped in the bud, before free enterprise starts breaking out all over the place.
Let this be a lesson to Good Samaritans. No good deed not imposed by government bureauweenies goes unpunished.
Hat tip: Coyote Blog; on a tip from Burning Hot.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:06 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
General Patton Returns
A few inspiring words from the ultimate countermoonbat:
On a tip from hiram13pm.
Posted by Van Helsing at 8:04 AM | Comments (12) | TrackBack (0)
Obama's 57 States Notion Explained
My apologies: I goofed when I ridiculed Barack Obama for claiming he had campaigned in 57 states. I thought he was referring to American states — which in Obama's case was a truly foolish assumption. I should have realized that the Organisation of the Islamic Conference is made up of 57 states.
Speaking of Obama's Islamic background, his cheerleaders at the New York Times have surprisingly acknowledged that he is a Muslim apostate, which is punishable by death according to the Religion of Peace. This could become awkward when he tries to implement his "talk to the terrorists" foreign policy agenda.
But is he really an apostate? Islam as practiced in America is generally based on hatred of white people, just like the Black Liberation Theology "church" into which Jeremiah Wright recruited Obama. Reverend Wrong even awarded Whitey-Hater-in-Chief Louis Farrakhan of the Nation of Islam with the highest honor he could, the Lifetime Achievement "Dr. Jeremiah A. Wright, Jr. Trumpet" Award. This suggests that Obama's race-based perversion of Christianity does not represent any apostasy at all.
Hat tips: Jawa Report, LGF; on tips from Oiao.
Posted by Van Helsing at 7:56 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)
Those Who Won't Join the Obamaborg Are Racist
Get used to this, because we will be fed a relentless diet of it from now until November. Voting for Obama because he's black means you have transcended race. Not voting for him for any reason makes you a racist.
Obama Mania campaign worker Danielle Ross whines that Obama's message that America stinks and needs to changed into some different country didn't resonate in the Indiana Heartland:
"The first person I encountered was like, 'I'll never vote for a black person,' "recalled Ross, who is white and just turned 20. "People just weren't receptive."
Sure. Someone walked up to her and said, "I'd vote for Obama. Except he's a mulatto, and I'm a racist."
Another campaign worker claims someone said of Obama, "Hang that darky from a tree!"
The Washington Post seems to believe it. Anyone who opposes having an unqualified, ultra-Left jackass run the country is a racist, if said jackass is part African. After having the media drill this message through your head for the next six months, maybe you'll believe it too.
Interestingly, WaPo reports that vandals spray-painted "Hamas votes BHO" and "We don't cling to guns or religion. Goddamn Wright," spinning this as racism having escalated into violence. In other words, objecting to a president who would likely side with Islamic terrorists against the West is racist. Objecting to being insulted by a condescending bigot like Obama is racist. Not liking Reverend "God damn America" Wright is racist. In short, not supporting Obama is racist.
Hat tip: Free Republic; on a tip from Cheetah.
Posted by Van Helsing at 6:32 AM | Comments (24) | TrackBack (1)
May 12, 2008
Dhimmitude in Minnesota
When the rights of the disabled come up against the intolerant dictates of Islam, which do you suppose will come out on top in Minnesota, land of our first Muslim Congressman? Tyler Hurd found out when he was forced to leave a teacher-training program at Technical High School in Saint Cloud after a Muslim from Somalia threatened to kill his service dog.
Dogs are on the extremely long list of things Muslims don't like. Therefore people who need dogs to assist them with medical conditions will have to make themselves scarce. After all, we need to accommodate the nice Muslims. They'd do the same for us, right?
On a tip from V the K.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:31 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack (0)
Stupid Media Question of the Day
A pair of Mexicans in a car accident in Illinois ran off, leaving dead and critically injured children behind. A puzzled Daily Herald wants to know:
How could they flee when five others in their car were lying on the ground so seriously hurt?
Could it be they're in the country illegally, and don't want all the trouble of having to sneak back in again after they're deported? Might they have figured that it would be most convenient to let American taxpayers deal with their dead and injured children, as with all their other healthcare issues?
Nah. They must have been worried the racist cops would profile and oppress them.
On a tip from CWKing.
Posted by Van Helsing at 9:05 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)
