NY Times: Mate With Short People to Please the Planet
Like Satan, our moonbat overlords want to reduce the stature of the human race. At the flagship publication of the liberal establishment, that can be taken literally:
A New York Times guest opinion column published on Sunday claimed that mating with “shorter people” is a “step toward a greener planet” since smaller individuals are “inherent conservationists.”
The essay by writer Mara Altman, titled “There Has Never Been a Better Time to Be Short,” argued that people of shorter stature live longer and are “better” for the planet because they use fewer resources.
This is what passes for sophisticated thought among today’s human-hating intelligentsia:
“Short people don’t just save resources, but as resources become scarcer because of the earth’s growing population and global warming, they may also be best suited for long-term survival (and not just because more of us will be able to jam into spaceships when we are forced off this planet we wrecked),” the essay continued.
Charging your Tesla six times a day is passé. Here’s how to really prove your fashionable devotion to earth worship:
“When you mate with shorter people, you’re potentially saving the planet by shrinking the needs of subsequent generations. Lowering the height minimum for prospective partners on your dating profile is a step toward a greener planet,” the article claimed.
You thought tax money showered upon the National Endowment for the Arts is cash down a rathole? Wrong. Art can save the planet:
The article referenced lecturer and artist Arne Hendriks, who “uses performance and exhibitions to encourage people to embrace fewer inches.” According to Altman’s piece, Hendriks does not allow his children to consume dairy and limits sugar to keep them from getting tall.
If only NEA funding went to Child Protective Services instead.
Twitter users relentlessly mocked the article for attributing height to climate change.
If we hate our own existence enough, we can shrink away to nothing. Then the weather will be perfect forever.
On tips from Bluto and Franco.
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[…] Mating with short people may make New York Times readers feel righteous, but the social engineers of the World Economic Forum warn that more must be done to cut the human race down to a size that suits the Liberal World Order. Watch in horror as famous primatologist and anthropologist Jane Goodall (formerly known as Baroness Jane van Lawick-Goodall) asserts the necessity of reducing the human population to what it was 500 years ago: […]
[…] Mating with short people may make New York Times readers feel righteous, but the social engineers of the World Economic Forum warn that more must be done to cut the human race down to a size that suits the Liberal World Order. Watch in horror as famous primatologist and anthropologist Jane Goodall (formerly known as Baroness Jane van Lawick-Goodall) asserts the necessity of reducing the human population to what it was 500 years ago: […]
[…] Mating with short people may make New York Times readers feel righteous, but the social engineers of the World Economic Forum warn that more must be done to cut the human race down to a size that suits the Liberal World Order. Watch in horror as famous primatologist and anthropologist Jane Goodall (formerly known as Baroness Jane van Lawick-Goodall) asserts the necessity of reducing the human population to what it was 500 years ago […]