Never mind the cratering economy or our reckless rulers lurching toward nuclear war with Russia. We have a real crisis on our hands. So few parasitic worms are named after women as to qualify as sexism:

Concerns are being raised as to whether “gender bias” has played a role in naming the creatures after a team of scientists led by parasitologist Robert Poulin “scoured studies in eight journals published between 2000 and 2020,” reports Sky News.

Studying “gender bias” is easier than conducting actual scientific research, and probably more likely to generate government grants.

According to the study, published in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B, “We found a consistent gender bias among species named after eminent scientists, with male scientists being immortalised disproportionately more frequently than female scientists.”

The shortage of parasitic worms named after women is caused by women being less likely than men to devote themselves to scientific research, due to sex differences that social engineers have tried and failed to eradicate.

To solve the crisis, we should stop naming species after the scientists who discover them. Instead, we could name them after prominent people they resemble. For the next species of parasitic worm, how about Nancius pelosium?

On a tip from Franco.

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