Maybe you are curious to see how Don Lemon would cover the savage rioting and looting that have been taking place in Minneapolis, but you don’t want to turn the TV to CNN for fear of breaking out in hives. Here’s a workaround — Mark Dice channels Lemon to report on the story:

On a tip from Kate P.

Now that Obamagate revelations are causing the Russia hoax to blow up in moonbats’ slack-jawed faces, propagandists like Brian Stelter don’t want to talk about it anymore. But at least Stelter was open-minded enough to invite Mark Dice onto his show:

On tips from KirklesWorth and Ellen O.

Karens don’t come more irritating than MSDNC’s Mika Brzezinski. But she does have one redeeming quality; it is pleasant to laugh at her when she melts down.

Mark Dice yuks it up as Mika fumes that Trump won’t make a fool of himself by wearing a mask at all times and then demands that the President of the United States be banned from Twitter for picking on her hapless husband. Less hilarious is that her hostility to free speech is shared by her fellow liberals running Big Tech:

On tips from KirklesWorth and Ellen O.

The contrived story is no longer going CNN’s way, now that everyone not suffering from cranioanal insertion knows that Trump did not collude with Russia. RussiaGate has become ObamaGate, as the origins of the hoax come to light despite the media’s best efforts to keep them hidden.

Having lost control of the narrative, CNN propagandist Brian Stelter doesn’t want to squeak about Russia anymore, despite his previous obsession with the topic:

On a tip from KirklesWorth.

This is on the level — to the extent that anything excreted by CNN is on the level:

As noted at Diogenes’ Middle Finger, “This is like someone being their own character witness.” If no one else will be your character witness, you have no choice.

Too bad they didn’t list Greta Thunberg in the poll. By telling us that we trust ChiCom virus information from the teenage climate warrior, maybe CNN could have made us stop guffawing at her inclusion on its panel of “experts.”

On a tip from Ellen O.

To promote the progressive agenda, the media lies relentlessly. Most of its lies are lies of omission. Take for example the case of Jasmine Campbell. Portlandia’s Willamette Week reported in January:

A 23-year-old woman was charged today with a bias crime for forcibly removing a Portland State University student’s hijab and attempting to choke her with it, Multnomah County Circuit Court records say.

Jasmine Campbell, 23, allegedly approached a Muslim woman from behind at a MAX station on Southwest Yamhill Street Nov. 12 and attempted to choke her with her hijab before removing it and rubbing it “across multiple exposed sexually intimate parts of her body,” court records say.

Stories like this are usually hate hoaxes, but this one actually happened. Yet in a sense it is a hoax after all.

Campbell was charged with two counts of bias crime. The only clue as to the actual nature of the crime is here:

Booking documents for an unrelated trespassing arrest in December describe her as “transient” or living at various addresses in Southeast Portland.

CAIR, Hamas’ answer to the ACLU, was quick to capitalize:

The alleged victim, 24, is an international student from Saudi Arabia. She said she no longer feels safe wearing her hijab in public, court records say, and now wears a knit cap and scarf to cover herself.

“The fact that she’s no longer wearing a hijab shows the level of traumatization,” said Zakir Khan, who runs the Oregon chapter of the Center for American Islamic Relations.

Khan compared the hijab attack to murders committed by white racist Jeremy Christian.

“We’re right back where we started from in terms of hate,” Khan said.

The story is not accompanied by a picture of the suspected perpetrator, nor is there any reference to her appearance. To discover why, refer to KATU.

Jasmine Campbell is not a doppelganger for Ilsa She Wolf of the SS, as gullible readers could be led to believe, but rather a person of politically preferred pigmentation. Also, she is visibly insane.

Crazy homeless people are known to assault random strangers. When these random strangers belong to preferred identity groups, the story goes into spin mode.

On a tip from Pork_Soda.

The Washington Examiner is right; this is beyond parody. CNN is staging a townhall Thursday evening on the ChiCom virus, featuring a panel of experts that includes psychiatrically troubled teenage global warming warrior Greta Thunberg.

The same liberal journalists who have scolded people for so much as questioning the wisdom of the federal government’s top coronavirus experts, such as Dr. Anthony Fauci and Dr. Deborah Birx, are now literally telling people to get their scientific analysis from Greta Thunberg.

Seriously, this is on the level:

Then again, Greta knows at least as much about COVID-19 as she does about climate science. No doubt she has experienced a coronavirus herself, if only in the form of the common cold.

As Jim Treacher notes,

She’s an expert on making people panic about invisible dangers, so now she’s switching over from the Angry Sky Gods to the virus. At least this time it’s something that actually exists.

Not even Greta could be much more wrong on Kung Flu than Anthony Fauci. Maybe she will take his place if Democrats win in November.

On tips from Ellen O, KirklesWorth, and R F.

Those who spent last week with no access to anything but the mainstream media must be wondering what they missed. Liz Wheeler brings us up to date:

• Sixty-six percent of new hospital cases of the ChiCom virus in New York are people who were sheltering at home. This emphasizes the futility of trying to put the entire population under house arrest to keep people from getting sick.

• There was no detectable surge in Kung Flu from the Wisconsin election. This undercuts Democrat attempts to facilitate voter fraud with mail-in ballots.

• COVID-19 hysteria and lockdowns will destroy seven times more years of life than could be saved by the lockdowns.

• Hysterical coronavirus model fabricator Neil Ferguson has resigned after having blown off his own quarantine to commit adultery, despite being largely responsible for the entire British population having to live under lockdown.

• The odds of transmitting the Chinese virus are 18.7 times greater in a closed than in an open-air environment, even as Gavin Newsom sics the police on beachgoers.

As Warner Wolf might say, let’s go to the video:

On a tip from KirklesWorth.

As the country succumbs to abject tyranny due to ChiCom virus hysteria, it is thoughtful of Mark Dice to provide us with some good news at last.

It is not the new censorship board, infested with leftists, that will determine what thoughts can and cannot be expressed on Facebook/Instagram.

It is not the new Twitter tool that nags you not to be offensive.

It is not the realization that political correctness has so warped popular culture that it is now controversial to lose excess weight.

The good news is that the new White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany has started off by treating the moonbat media like a piñata:

On tips from KirklesWorth and Frances J.

Those who believe everything the media tells them understand that there is no use putting up resistance like Shelley Luther, because the authorities only want what’s best for us, and they know what that is better than we do, because they are experts. Take it from JP Sears, who is an enlightened kind of guy:

Avoiding wrongthink isn’t always easy. Sometimes you have to be a mental gymnast like JP.

On a tip from JanderJ.

Without exposés like this one by Project Veritas, we might not realize just how fake the fake news establishment media really is. We all know that it spins stories that can be exploited to advance the progressive narrative and suppresses stories that can’t. But the journalistic malfeasance goes farther than that. Here, CBS News enters Truman Show territory by staging events and passing them off as news:

Anything to help keep COVID-19 hysteria at a high boil and/or support Democrat pols like authoritarian Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer.

You can assume that anything the liberal establishment media tells you is a lie.

On tips from rpp618 and Ellen O.

The establishment media strives to keep us disoriented by subjecting us to a relentless blizzard of malevolent lies. Mr Reagan debunks four of them, including the preposterous assertion that Donald Trump has persuaded people to drink bleach:

On a tip from KirklesWorth.

Our rulers must limit their information to the mainstream media. If they knew the following, surely they would get their boot off the neck of society and let people get back to work:

• The economically catastrophic lockdowns do not save lives.

• Children do not transmit COVID-19.

• In San Diego, 24.7% are out of work; unemployment there was only 4.9% a month ago.

• COVID-19 death counts are grossly inflated.

• Half or more of COVID-19 fatalities occur in nursing homes.

If only our rulers would watch Liz Wheeler:

On tips from Frances J and Occam’s Stubble.