Having jumped the shark years ago, the liberal media establishment no longer has to pass the laugh test. It is free to excrete headlines like this one from the Washington Post:

Tax season is getting longer. Blame climate change.

The reasoning (if you can call anything related to Democrat ideology “reasoning”):

The Earth’s warming climate is altering everything from animal migration patterns to when plants bloom. It’s also changing when Americans file taxes: As severe storms and natural disasters worsened by climate change afflict broader swaths of the country, the IRS is issuing more extensions for individuals and businesses to cope with the fallout sooner and pay taxes later.

If you can believe that global warming makes baseball players hit too many home runs, you should have no problem swallowing this story too.

What causes the supposed global warming? Could it be the perpetual fluctuation that has always characterized the climate and always will? No. It is bad things that humans do, like produce food — not just meat, but even rice:

At least the climate doesn’t mind if we eat bugs.

On tips from Jack Bauer and Occam’s Stubble.

Progressives work progressively because if the water starts boiling immediately, the frog will jump out of the pot. Not even Joe Biden is tyrannical enough to ban cars outright; the strategy is to force us to give them up gradually by driving up the price through regulation. Landlords will meet the same fate as cars as they are progressively driven out of existence through the erosion of property rights. For example:

Patti Peeples, 61, said investment properties were meant to subsidize her retirement, but after spending $5,000 in legal fees to remove squatters who occupied her home for 34 days, she is fed up.

Costlier even than the lost rent and legal fees is the damage the parasites have inflicted:

The two female squatters caused $38,000 in damage, including smashed walls and windows, cabinets off the walls, a washer and dryer missing, toilets broken, and fecal matter scattered throughout the home.

Also, the squatters are apparently raising deadly pit bulls.

In a civilized country, the squatters would be arrested for trespassing and vandalism. In ours, they have Big Government on their side. Consequently,

“I have absolutely no right to go into this house because these squatters have the expectation of privacy, even though the law knows that they’re squatters, I know that they’re squatters, and they know they’re squatters,” Peeples said.

Going into her own house would be dangerous anyway:

“We were driving by at night, and they threw a brick at my car and damaged it, and we had the window partway down, and they threw human feces into the car,” Peeples said.

Peeples plans to get rid of her rental properties and try to find another way to subsidize her retirement.

Linda Jiang is also considering getting out of the business:

Jiang told ABC13 that she was also a victim of squatters after a month-long struggle.

After arriving at her property to clean up the yard, she discovered she was locked out of her rental home by squatters who changed her locks and refused to leave.

In both Jiang and Peeple’s cases, police told the property owners that they were unable to help and that both situations were a civil matter that must go through the courts.

This can take years. When and if the squatters are finally evicted, they just pull the same stunt somewhere else. Tamisha Holmes-Bey, a squatter on Jiang’s property, has apparently been evicted three times since 2019.

Democrats won’t see a problem here. When the last landlord has been driven out of business, people can live in public housing. We can turn the whole country into a giant Cabrini-Green.

On a tip from Varla.

Chicago did not even wait for ultramoonbat Brandon Johnson to take office before disintegrating into total anarchy. Unsurprisingly, Johnson sides with the rioters:

Chicago’s mayor-elect said the city should not demonize the teens who organized a ‘Teen Takeover’ of the Loop over the weekend, even after the event turned violent with cars burnt cars and minors shot.

Johnson bleats that “it is not constructive to demonize youth who have otherwise been starved of opportunities in their own communities.” Because being brought up on free money and then offered every advantage as members of the preferred racial group — first hired, last fired, immune from criticism — just isn’t enough.

Gunshots rang out with rounds striking two teenage boys aged 16 and 17 who were reported to be in stable condition as of Sunday. Cars were also left vandalized near East Washington Street in the Windy City, including a Tesla which is worth about $120,000.

Blowing $120,000 on an inferior mode of transportation like an electric car, presumably for ideological reasons, is pure moonbattery. A rich liberal’s Tesla destroyed by a mob of savages unleashed by liberalism has a poignant feel of poetic justice. But it is tragic to see America’s third largest city succumb to the Democrat Death Spiral and become another welfare state Mogadishu like Detroit.

Meanwhile, moonbats squeal with self-righteous rage when Walmart closes stores in this hellhole because theft and vandalism make it impossible to stay in business:

If we keep electing Brandons, before long the federal government will mandate that Walmart stores have to stay open in Chicago and give the merchandise away for free — until there isn’t any Walmart because it has gone bankrupt.

On tips from Ed McAninch, Mr. Freemarket, and Varla.

Turns out our conspicuously incompetent transportation secretary has another qualification besides being deafeningly homosexual. Pete Buttigieg can push moonbattery to extremes of pernicious foolishness that only the utterly shameless can achieve, as he proved by telling professional race baiter Al Sharpton that roads designed by racist Caucasians kill minorities:

“We have a crisis when it comes to roadway fatalities in America. We lose about 40,000 people every year. It’s a level that is comparable to gun violence. And we see a lot of racial disparities. Black and Brown Americans, tribal citizens and rural residents are much more likely to lose their lives whether it’s in a car or as a pedestrian being hit by a car,” Buttigieg said.

By “gun violence,” he largely means suicide, the rate of which unsurprisingly rose when Democrats took power in 2021.

He continued, “There are a lot of reasons related to discrimination and related to even the ways that roads are designed and built, who has access to a safe street design that has crosswalks and good lighting, who doesn’t have that access that can drive disparities, and we have a responsibility to act on that.”

With geniuses like Buttigieg in charge, we can design roads so that the only people who get killed in traffic accidents are those who deserve it, namely whites. He’ll get right on it, so long as he isn’t too busy taking extended paternity leave with his child-grooming “husband.”

We may one day discover life on other planets, but it is safe to say we will never discover a lifeform lower than Pete Buttigieg, because that would be inconceivable.

On tips from Wiggins and Steve T.

Make room — and plenty of it — for the next belligerently oppressed identity group: the grotesquely obese.

Real news spinoff Not the Bee pulls ahead of the Babylon Bee in the race toward absolute absurdity:

Morbidly obese “plus-size influencer” who goes by “JaeBae” has started a change.org petition demanding the FAA and airlines give fat flyers as many free extra seats as they need to accommodate their girth.

From the petition, which over 5,400 have signed:

Air travel should be comfortable and accessible for everyone, regardless of size. … The lack of a uniform customer-of-size airline policy is unacceptable and must be addressed.

That is, government coercion must be applied through the FAA. Demands include:

All plus-size passengers should be provided with an extra free seat, or even two or three seats depending on their size, to accommodate their needs and ensure their comfort during the flight.

Looks like airlines will need a whole new fleet of redesigned planes:

Airlines must provide additional airport assistance to plus-size travelers if necessary, including wheelchair assistance and priority boarding. Airlines should also create accommodations for larger passengers, such as larger bathrooms, seat belt extenders, and alternative seating arrangements.

Indoctrination in CRT and LGBT victimology is imposed throughout society. JaeBae wants something similar:

Airlines and government agencies that regulate the airline industry must train all employees on how to accommodate plus-size travelers, including handling sensitive situations and providing appropriate customer service.

Surprisingly, she doesn’t mention free seconds, thirds, and fourths on inflight meals.

The rest of us will have to pay more to provide free seats to those who let their weight get out of control. It’s what we deserve for not being clever enough to find a way to qualify as victims.

On tips from Franco, Mr. Freemarket, and jas385.

Transsexuals occupy the top position on the Cultural Marxist totem pole of power, above all other allegedly oppressed identity groups, including women, the poor, criminals, and even blacks. We know this because liberals allow transsexual sex criminals into female prisons, where they are free to terrorize and impregnate female inmates, who are often poor and black.

James O’Keefe has released a video featuring two female inmates at the Washington State Correctional Center for Women:

Daily Wire summarizes:

“So, we have men rapists, men murderers, child rapists, men who have killed women and are in prison for raping and killing women who get put in our rooms,” Inmate #1 claimed. “Imagine coming into your room one day and you’re in closed custody and you turn around and there is a man standing there peeing in the toilet because you have the bathroom in your room in CCU. There is nothing you can do!”

“I know there’s some having sex with women — there was some, like, assaulting, but no one reported it,” Inmate #1 said.

“Some of these men are not confused, they’re just manipulating the system. It’s not equal, because we don’t get the same care and treatment that the trans get in here,” Inmate #1 continued. “They cater to the trans community. All you have to do is say that you are a woman, that you now, when you’re in county, say that you identify as a woman, and you can come straight to here from county. The guys don’t even have to go to the men’s prison first.”

O’Keefe took great care to hide their identities, because the hell they have been subjected to will be made even worse if authorities learn they challenged transsexual privilege.

“My safety is now in jeopardy because I cannot voice my freedom of speech, but that doesn’t apply anymore because now they’re implementing this new gender equality role that forces us to conform to what they want us to believe in about the transgenders,” Inmate #2 said.

Why should liberals run prisons any differently from the way they run public schools?

According to Inmate #2, transsexuals also get priority for medical treatment. Those who complain about the situation are subjected to “ridicule, targeting, bias, punishments, solitary confinement.”

Dylan Mulvaney is the liberal establishment’s favorite transsexual, despite his failure to do to his own body what transsexualists like Richard I mean Rachel Levine advocate doing to children. He is invited to the White House, feted by Bud Light, and literally knelt before by Hollywood glitterati. Let’s see what he has to say about the unconstitutional cruel and unusual punishment inflicted on real women on behalf of his fellow fake women:

Normally Mulvaney chirps garrulously. But this time only the crickets where chirping.

On tips from MrRightWingDave and StephaneDumas.

Pro-criminal, anti-police lunatic left mayoral candidate Brandon Johnson doesn’t even take office until next month, but the message has already gone out loud and clear and has been received — anything goes:

Todd Starnes reported on the scene in Chicago last night:

Several hundred teenagers are rioting in downtown Chicago and police officers are describing the scene as “complete anarchy.”

As they say, elections have consequences.

At least three people have been shot and a number of transit workers have been attacked and beaten by the mob. Video shows young thugs mounting cars and buses – terrorizing motorists.

At least one news crew was forced to take cover to avoid being shot and Northwestern University has been placed on lockdown to protect students. There are also reports that teens are trying to force their way into the Art Institute of Chicago.

The Democrat Death Spiral has reached the point of no return. Chicago is no longer part of the civilized world.

Batten down the hatches, Chicago. You voted for this.

The Democrats sure picked the right town for their 2024 convention. They must have felt nostalgic for 1968.

On a tip from Wiggins.

The boycott of Bud Light may seem trivial to some, but to countermoonbats it is crucial. Matt Walsh laid out the strategy:

Actually, it does matter which target. Bud Light is ideal because Anheuser-Busch obnoxiously rammed moonbattery down its customers’ throats out of explicit contempt for those very customers, and because the brand depends heavily on sales to regular guys, the demographic woke corporations most vehemently hate.

We don’t have to let AB InBev spit in our faces. We can punch back so that it hurts. But only if we follow through by maintaining the boycott indefinitely.

Donald Trump Jr. has issued an unhelpful statement claiming that grinding Dylan Mulvaney in our face is out of character for Budweiser:

Don Jr. is misinformed — to put it mildly:

When Pride parades and other LGBT events started to gain steam in the 1990s, “Bud Light was the brand,” a 35-year veteran of Anheuser-Busch told National Review.

Bud Light has been the brand to bend over backward for all things LGBT ever since.

In the mid 1990s, he said, Bud Light hired an “alternative lifestyle” brand manager.

“Alternative” specifically means LGBT. The position was maintained for decades.

In 1993, a Bud Light TV commercial titled “Ladies Night” featured four men dressed in drag visiting a bar and ordering the beer. Two years later, Bud Light launched a campaign promoting acceptance of the LGBT community that stated, “Labels belong on beer not on people.” Bud Light teamed up with GLAAD, an organization fighting gay, lesbian, and transgender defamation in 1998. Their relationship is still going strong today.

GLAAD is a militant homosexual activist group infamous for targeting children.

“Bud Light has long been a staunch supporter of the LGBT community,” Sarah Kate Ellis, GLAAD president and CEO, said in 2016 after Bud Light debuted an ad including a same-sex wedding. “This spot is the latest in a long line of inclusive advertising that will help increase understanding and accelerate LGBT acceptance. GLAAD has been honored to partner with Bud Light for 18 years.”

Money spent on Bud Light has actually funded GLAAD’s sick activities.

In 2019, Bud Light unveiled a GLAAD-crossover rainbow aluminum bottle to celebrate World Pride. Bud Light pledged to donate $1 to the nonprofit for every case sold in June, which is Pride Month.

You don’t get gayer than Bud Light, even if it isn’t gays who drink it.

Speaking of targeting kids, the parent company used the nonalcoholic malt energy drink Pony Malta to promote homosexuality to children in South America.

The company has also provided legal and financial support to encourage employees to change their names to signify they are transgender.

Anheuser-Busch finally broke social media silence and was ratioed deservedly. CEO Brendan Whitworth (presumably no relation to foiled transsexual mass murderer William Whitworth) has belatedly issued a buzzword-choked non-apology that alienates everyone by trying not to alienate anyone. It is too late to pretend they are neutral in the culture war.

No one deserves boycotting more than Bud Light and its parent company. Make sure to hit AB InBev’s other brands too and do not let up ever.

On tips from Varla, Mr. Freemarket, ABC of the ANC, and KirklesWorth.

So eager are woke corporations to advance the LGBT agenda that Suncorp Group offers time off work to encourage employees to become transsexual:

The company, which is involved in insurance and banking in Australia and New Zealand, is offering six weeks of paid leave and 12 months of unpaid leave for people to “affirm their gender,” an Orwellian phrase that actually entails the exact opposite of affirming an individual’s immutable biological sex.

You don’t actually have to cut off body parts to get time off work. Just publicly commit yourself to sexually perverted gender psychosis:

Suncorp notes that the transition process can include actions ranging from hormones, surgery, and recovery, to simply informing others about the gender switch and changing clothing style and pronouns.

Systematically encourage something and you get more of it. This includes insanity — with predictable results.

On a tip from Wiggins.

As George Orwell observed,

“Sometimes the first duty of intelligent men is the restatement of the obvious.”

Marion County Sheriff Billy Woods addresses this task by explaining to the media and others witless enough to need to be told that no, guns are not responsible for crimes committed using guns, like the recent murder of three teenagers in Ocklawaha, Florida. The criminals are, even when they qualify as juveniles:

Also responsible are the liberals who allow criminals to run amok.

On a tip from Lyle.

In case anyone hadn’t noticed that next up for normalization after homosexuality and transsexuality is pedophilia, or that the United Nations is not just irritating but evil:

From UNAIDS:

The International Committee of Jurists (ICJ) along with UNAIDS and the Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights (OHCHR) officially launched a new set of expert jurist legal principles to guide the application of international human rights law to criminal law.

UNAIDS and OHCHR are part of the United Nations. “Human rights” in this context is Liberalese for “decay.”

Ian Seiderman, Law and Policy Director at ICJ, complains that “there has been a growing trend towards overcriminalization.” This applies to a variety of degenerate behavior that meets with globalist approval:

The ‘8 March principles’ … were finalized in 2022. Initially, the principles focused on the impact of criminal laws proscribing sexual and reproductive health and rights, consensual sexual activity, gender identity, gender expression, HIV non-disclosure, exposure and transmission, drug use and the possession of drugs for personal use. Later, based on the inputs of civil society and other stakeholders, criminalization linked to homelessness and poverty were also included.

That is, the UN promotes the legalization of abortion, corrupt sex (explicitly including prostitution, homosexuality, and pedophilia), transsexualism (implicitly including sex change operations, presumably on children as well as mentally ill adults), knowingly spreading HIV without telling sexual partners, and recreational drug use. The “criminalization” of homelessness likely refers to derelicts not always being allowed to reduce public areas to 24-hour open air drug dens.

Laws against these approved activities “perpetuate stigma, harmful gender stereotypes and discrimination based on such grounds as gender or sexual orientation.”

Yes, the debauchery applies to children. Presenting Principle 16 (starting on page 22):

Consensual sexual conduct, irrespective of the type of sexual activity, the sex/ gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression of the people involved or their marital status, may not be criminalized in any circumstances. Consensual same-sex, as well as consensual different-sex sexual relations, or consensual sexual relations with or between trans, non-binary and other genderdiverse people, or outside marriage – whether pre-marital or extramarital – may, therefore, never be criminalized.

With respect to the enforcement of criminal law, any prescribed minimum age of consent to sex must be applied in a non-discriminatory manner. Enforcement may not be linked to the sex/gender of participants or age of consent to marriage.

Moreover, sexual conduct involving persons below the domestically prescribed minimum age of consent to sex may be consensual in fact, if not in law. In this context, the enforcement of criminal law should reflect the rights and capacity of persons under 18 years of age to make decisions about engaging in consensual sexual conduct…

The sexual molestation of children by adults is never consensual in any meaningful sense.

If we can’t at least all agree that the United Nations must be abolished and the UN building bulldozed into the East River, there is no hope for unity.

By the way, American taxpayers are forced to provide this pernicious globalist institution a staggering $12.5 BILLION per year, even as we struggle to pay our own debts.

On tips from Occam’s Stubble and Bluto.

To quote the Obamunist Rahm Emanuel,

You never let a serious crisis go to waste. And what I mean by that it’s an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before.

Democrats rely on crises to impose their policies. Some they fabricate out of whole cloth, like the phony climate crisis. Others are quite real, like the inflation they have caused through grotesquely excessive wasteful spending.

One crisis can be an opportunity to worsen another, as Yoda’s aunt explains:

That’s why a spending binge that drove up inflation even further by wasting vast fortunes on climate boondoggles that no serious person thinks will change the weather one iota was called the “Inflation Reduction Act.”

Make sense? That’s good. If you thought it made sense, you would be insane.

On a tip from ABC of the ANC.