Sniff our haughty moonbat rulers: Let them eat crickets. Let them eat beetleburgers. Let them eat maggot butter. Let them eat weeds. Let them eat synthetic pseudofood. Let them eat plastic trash. Let them eat lentils. Let them eat grass. Let them eat larvae. Let them eat Chef Boyardee. Let them eat wind turbine blades. Let them drink cockroach milk. Let them eat seaweed:

An area of ocean almost the size of Australia could support commercial seaweed farming around the world, providing food for humans, feed supplements for cattle, and alternative fuels, according to new research.

Making us eat seaweed “could have profound benefits to land use, emissions reduction, water and fertiliser use,” according to the researchers.

However, there is a drawback:

A review in 2019 of the risks of expanding seaweed farming in Europe highlighted concerns farms could upset the balance of marine ecosystems…

Whatever we are allowed to eat when moonbats have sufficiently consolidated power to impose utopia, it won’t taste good. But at least it won’t be offensive to the climate.

On a tip from Steve T.

The Liberal World Order has decided that the little people must eat bugs to prevent the climate from fluctuating, in accordance with ruling class ideology. Yet rather than mindlessly obey The Experts as most did with Covid policy, people have resisted. So our moonbat overlords are furtively sneaking insects into food. This will allow them to reveal in the near future that we have already been eating bugs, so there is no reason to object to them shutting down farms and imposing a new diet:

Partially defatted and powdered house crickets will officially be able to find their way to EU citizens’ tables starting on January 24. This comes thanks to a European Commission ruling passed earlier this month.

As per the decision, which cited the scientific opinion of the European Food Safety Authority, the additive is safe to use in a whole range of products, including but not limited to cereal bars, biscuits, pizza, pasta-based products, and whey powder.

No worries. There will be “appropriate” labels in case you are allergic, Jewish (eating bugs isn’t kosher), or worried about parasitic infections. So be sure to read the fine print on your pizza.

More reassurance:

EU regulations state that adult crickets have to first undergo a 24-hour fasting period so that they “discard their bowel content.” After that, the insects are frozen, washed, thermally processed, have their oil extracted and ground into powder.

There you go, perfectly healthy.

On top of crickets, the European Commission also approved earlier this month the larvae of the Alphitobius diaperinus, known as the lesser mealworm, for human consumption.

Or at least, for lesser human consumption. The odds of Klaus Schwab, John Kerry, Bill Gates, et al. eating bugs remain low.

On a tip from Mr. Freemarket.

Our moonbat overlords have decided that we must not eat food because agriculture offends the climate. But they are generous rulers, who provide us with a wide variety of alternatives, including cockroach milk, maggot butter, weeds, synthetic pseudofood, plastic trash, lentils, grass, crickets, larvae, wind turbine blades — and even beetleburgers:

Beetleburgers could soon be helping to feed the world, according to new research. The creepy crawlers’ larvae — better known as mealworms — could act as a meat alternative… The process uses a fraction of the land and water and emits a smaller carbon footprint in comparison of traditional farming.

CO2 makes plants grow. Unfortunately, this precious nutrient is regarded as haram in the moonbat religion. It offends the weather gods.

French biotech company Ynsect is planning a global network of insect farms, including nurseries and slaughterhouses.

No doubt plenty of government funding goes into the pockets of companies that make food alternatives, as with inefficient but politically correct energy alternatives. Big Government even pays farmers to stop farming by buying up their land with public money. Again, our rulers are generous.

Tenebrio molitor beetle larvae … can be turned into protein powders, shakes, burgers, cereal bars, and even cooking oils at a fraction of the environmental cost of traditional farming.

You don’t hate the environment, do you? Then shut up and eat the bugs.

On tips from Wiggins and Steve T.

Once hypersecularization has allowed people to be dehumanized, anything is possible. Democrats are willing to kill viable babies at 9 months from conception on the grounds that they are not humans but just “lumps of cells.” If they could do that to innocent children, think what they would do to transphobic bigots from Jesusland, who might also turn out not to be human.

This could free up our leftist ruling class to address the mass starvation that their green energy policies would inevitably cause by collapsing the economy. Eating bugs is good enough for little people, but the liberal elite might prefer Soylent Green.

From the site Human Meat Project:

Welcome to the Human Meat Project, we are the human meat donation program. By donating bodies for human consumption, we are taking action to solve overpopulation, which leads to climate change and the greenhouse effect caused by the mass farming of livestock animals in order to feed the world.

They offer the whole moonbat package, including not only climate cultism but also diversity and equity:

We emphasize the source and origins of our human meat to deliver the diversity of our world and reveal the worrying differences of quality of life across the globe.

Our organization welcomes every nation to give back to the rest of the world. Hand in hand, we can help each other improve living conditions and the environment for everyone through this global movement.

We are told that one human body can feed up to 40 people. The site offers the opportunity to donate your own to the food supply.

Fortunately, donations are voluntary for now, and they wait until you have died on your own. But note that this is pitched as a cure for overpopulation.

The site may be parody, but that isn’t reassuring. Leftists surgically remove children’s genitals to “confirm” that they are members of the opposite sex. What they are already inflicting is crazier than parody.

Already Canada has moved to euthanize people with mental health problems, or as Nazis would have called them, “useless eaters.”

Normally progressives want to erase our cultural heritage, but they may refer back to Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal to solve the problems of hunger and excess deplorables:

Presented in the guise of an economic treatise, the essay proposes that the country ameliorate poverty in Ireland by butchering the children of the Irish poor and selling them as food to wealthy English landlords.

On a tip from Franco.

Moonbats love diversity. There are lots of things they will allow us to eat, even after they have consolidated power to the point that they can impose utopia in the name of the climate. In addition to cockroach milk, maggot butter, weeds, synthetic pseudofood, plastic trash, lentils, grass, crickets, larvae, and wind turbine blades, we can also eat mealworms:

Researchers In Hee Cho and Hyeyoung Park presented their development of a meaty mealworm flavoring at the American Chemical Society’s fall meeting, according to a news release issued on Wednesday. Their research, they say, is a response to the dietary demands of a growing global population and the looming climate crisis.

CNN and the ruling class it speaks for expect you to believe that the weather is a problem and that you can fix it by eating creepy-crawlies. Their contempt for you is that profound.

Insects are “truly eco-friendly and more efficient in comparison to typical livestock,” Cho said.

Too bad The Experts don’t really care much about efficiency. Then we could stop subsidizing solar and wind energy.

Here’s why anyone would want there to be such a thing as mealworm flavoring:

Cho and Park’s research focused on the flavor possibilities associated with mealworm powder, exploring how different forms of cooking can produce different flavor profiles that might make the insects more enticing to eat.

Say you are attempting to choke down the synthetic beef Bill Gates has decided we should eat. Maybe insect powder will make it seem more like food:

People trying to reduce their meat consumption could use a mealworm additive to fulfill their meaty cravings…

The scientists hope their work will “contribute to the commercial development of meat-like and savory flavorings and seasonings, and will encourage the convenience food industry to include edible insects in their products.”

Incidentally, mealworms are the first bugs listed in a study finding that eating insects can result in parasitical infection.

On a tip from Steve T.