Category: Animal Rights

Feb 04 2020

PETA President Forbids the Word “Pet”

Revise your copy of the Newspeak Dictionary at once. PETA president Ingrid Newkirk has decreed that pets must no longer be called “pets.”

According to the Daily Mail, Newkirk…

…compared calling animals pets to the treatment of women before feminism, when they were not allowed to own property or were patronisingly called ‘sweetie’ or ‘honey’ to make them seem ‘less of a person’.

Animals are people according to moonbat ideology, even if unborn babies are not. As Newkirk infamously put it, “a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy.” The implications of this demented view manifest themselves in the unhealthy diets and sociopathic behavior associated with animal rights militants.

Newkirk, who once set fire to a car at a motor show and has stripped naked numerous times to publicise PETA’s high-profile ‘I’d Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur’ campaign, said the language used around animals is important.

It could be triggering for a dog, cat, or hamster to hear itself referred to as a “pet,” negatively affecting its self-esteem. They are to be called “companions” instead.

While you have your Newspeak Dictionary out, cross out the expression “flog a dead horse.” Newkirk says it is offensive. A horse being dead does not justify cruelty.

On a tip from Frances J.

Feb 03 2020

The Awful Super Bowl Ad We Were Spared

Yesterday’s Super Bowl ads were irritating as always. But at least the audience was spared an appalling submission from PETA featuring animals kneeling à la Colin Kaepernick during the national anthem.

“Respect is the right of every living being,” the ad preaches, even if the USA deserves no respect. As PETA’s Ingrid Newkirk might put it, “a rat is a pig is a dog is a Person of Politically Preferred Pigmentation oppressed by racist AmeriKKKa.”

Even other moonbats gagged on the ad, which Fox nixed allegedly under pressure from the NFL. Via the Blaze:

Michael Harriot wrote in The Root that with its ad, “PETA colonized the Black Lives Matter Movement; disrespected Colin Kaepernick’s protest against injustice, and made a mockery of 400 years of systemic oppression by comparing Black lives to grizzly bears and bald eagles.”

Harriot’s piece was titled, “PETA’s #PetLivesMatter Super Bowl Ad Is So White, Even the NFL Is Like: ‘Come on, Son!'”

Being called white is the ultimate insult, coming from BLM types.

The backlash prompted PETA to respond as you would expect of leftists — with suppression of dissent:

As the controversy over the ad continued on social media, several people shared that PETA had blocked them for criticizing the group.

Maybe it’s too bad the ad didn’t run during the game. By reducing intersectional moonbattery to its loathsome essence, it might have disgusted a few people into stepping back from the wokeness abyss.

On a tip from Kate P.

Jan 30 2020

PETA Demands Robot Replace Punxsutawney Phil

No tradition is too innocuous to escape eradication by leftist social engineers. They have even come for Punxsutawney Phil.

Via Fox News:

PETA is calling for Pennsylvania’s most famous groundhog to retire and be replaced with an animatronic version ahead of Groundhog Day 2020.

Phil actually lives pretty well:

Phil lives in a man-made zoo that is climate controlled and light regulated and is connected to the Punxsutawney Memorial Library, according to the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club website.

All he has to do to maintain his lavish lifestyle is entertain the crowd that has been turning out once a year to see him since the 19th century. According to PETA, this constitutes oppression.

“When Phil is dragged out of his hole and held up to flashing lights and crowds, he has no idea what’s happening,” PETA President Ingrid Newkirk wrote. “Being relegated to a library ‘habitat’ for the other days of the year doesn’t allow him or the other groundhog there to dig, burrow, or forage. It’s no kind of life for these animals.”

That’s why Phil must be replaced by a robot.

“By creating an AI [i.e., robotic] Phil, you could keep Punxsutawney at the center of Groundhog Day but in a much more progressive way.”

Ruining an age-old tradition to placate moonbats would be progressive, all right.

How are we supposed to determine how long winter will last if we don’t know whether Punxsutawney Phil can see his shadow on February 2? But at least if groundhogs are replaced by robots, they will be safe from Bill de Blasio.

On a tip from Ellen O.

Jan 04 2020

Jaws V: Moonbattery Jumps the Shark

Jaws and its sequels were ideologically problematic, depicting man-eating sharks as villains. These films will go down the Memory Hole after they have been replaced with a new version that reflects our current values, as expressed in this weepy story from the Daily Star:

A great white shark that died on a beach in New Zealand was dragged ashore and beaten to death by a mob of men, witnesses are claiming. …

While it was assumed to have beached itself, there are now reports the female shark was purposefully caught – a serious crime under New Zealand law.

It’s probably right up there with possessing the means of self-defense. Catching or harming a sacred man-eating white shark can get you up to 6 months in jail and a massive fine.

Enraged witnesses squeal that the men kicked the poor shark and laughingly took selfies by it as it died.

They claim when other people tried to intervene and help the shark, the group became “exceptionally intimidating”.

They weren’t polite and nice like the shark.

Some reportedly even conspired to eat the shark, the way sharks eat swimmers. It’s okay when sharks do it, because the sharks were here first.

When authorities arrived, they helped lifeguards pull the shark back into the water. But then they realized that it was dead, its happy days of munching on surfers tragically ended.

This could be the starting point for the new politically correct Jaws. After a reenactment of the real-life scene on the beach, the camera plunges into the ocean to reveal that it had all been witnessed by the dead shark’s lesbian partner.

Tears of grief cloud her gentle eyes. She grimly resolves to hunt down her partner’s murderers one by one and inflict righteous justice as the audience cheers.

Steven Spielberg might like to direct, even if he says he won’t remake Jaws. It would allow him to make amends for his offensively sharkophobic original.

On a tip from Bluto.

Dec 15 2019

Piglets Sue in Germany

Male piglets are often castrated to avoid a nasty smell from cooking pork, called “boar taint.” For reasons of cost and efficiency, this is often done without anesthetic. The piglets don’t like it, so they have gone to court in Germany:

The German parliament outlawed castration without pain relief in 2013 but it offered farmers a five-year transition period to help them adapt to the change — a timeline that was extended last year until 2021.

This does not satisfy PETA militants, who filed a lawsuit with the Constitutional Court, with piglets as the plaintiffs. The implications go beyond castration.

“Non-human entities like companies and associations have legal personhood. So why not animals too?” said lawyer Cornelia Ziehm, who is supporting PETA in representing the piglets in court.

The objective is full human rights for animals. This would make eating a strip of bacon the equivalent of cannibalism. Animal rights activists have made it clear that they want the normal human diet, which includes meat, to be illegal.

On a tip from Lyle.

Dec 12 2019

Soft Tyranny: Berkeley’s Right to Rescue

In past generations, tyranny was cold and hard. Now it is warm and soft. You don’t hate puppies, do you? Then you will have no objection to the “Right to Rescue” resolution [PDF] that has now been passed by the Berkeley City Council.

Protect the Harvest tried to warn us:

The title “Support for Non-Violent Activists and Protections of Animals in Commercial Operations” from the “Peace and Justice Commission” is a resolution to allow non-violent activists to go on PRIVATE property and “Rescue” any animal these activists feel is in danger. At the heart of it is the Animal Rights Extremist group, Direct Action Everywhere or DxE. Read more about DxE on our website. HERE

In essence, Berkeley has authorized DxE and other maniacs to break into businesses and homes to rescue animals they deem to be threatened.

This precendent…

…affects any industry that uses animals, including agriculture, veterinary, equestrian, laboratory research, even homeowners are subject to being labeled as being cruel to animals. These groups who have no understanding of animal welfare, biosecurity, proper husbandry would now be free to tell professionals how to do their job.

Property rights — the foundation of all rights — are once again discarded in the name of moonbattery. If some kook thinks your dog should be on a vegan diet, he may feel authorized to break into your house and take it.

The next step will be to grant Antifa authority to make citizen’s arrests of suspected “fascists.”

This is the quintessence of modern leftism: wrapping raw tyranny in shiny paper that looks pretty to idiots.

Who cares what happens in the open air mental institution that is Berkeley? We all should. As goes California, so goes the nation. As goes Berkeley, so goes California.

On a tip from Dragon’s Lair.

Nov 22 2019

Animal Rights Activist Stabs Woman Over Fake Fur

One scary thing about leftist rhetoric is that there are people out there crazy enough to take it at face value and even act on it. Most of us understand that whatever silly nihilistic crap progressives spew about fur being evil and people being no better than animals, trying to kill someone because you think she is wearing fur is not appropriate. Most of us, but not all of us:

An animal rights activist is accused of stabbing a woman inside a church because she was wearing boots with fur — which was fake, Ohio police say.

It happened in Cleveland Heights on Wednesday night. The maniac, 35-year-old Meredith Lowell, allegedly followed a woman into the Fairmount Presbyterian Church as she dropped off children for choir practice.

The woman was standing in the main hall of the church when Lowell stabbed her three times with a kitchen knife. The victim was in stable condition at last word.

According to Police Chief Annette Mecklenburg, Lowell had been arrested previously “for other incidents involving attacks on women wearing fur clothing.”

One incident involved trying to hire a hit man to kill any random person 12 years old or older wearing fur. A year later, Lowell was ruled mentally incompetent to stand trial and released, with predictable results.

It is crazy to let crazy people with violent tendencies run around loose, politically advantageous as it may be for Democrats when some of them inevitably get ahold of guns.

On tips from Kate P and Varla.

Oct 03 2019

TripAdvisor Forbids Captive Cetaceans

All that is not woke will be canceled by liberal establishmentarians. They don’t have to control the government; private companies will behave as if they were under the direct rule of the most fanatical moonbats imaginable. For example, travel giant TripAdvisor announced this yesterday:

TripAdvisor, the travel platform trusted by millions of consumers worldwide, will no longer sell tickets to, or generate revenue from, any attraction that continues to contribute to the captivity of future generations of cetaceans (whales, dolphins and porpoises)…

As a result, any commercial facility that either breeds or imports cetaceans for public display will be banned from sale on TripAdvisor and Viator.

This bullying of attractions like SeaWorld is enabled by an alarmingly prevalent mentality that prizes left-wing posturing above profits. The phenomenon has subjected us to nauseating displays of “virtue signaling” (i.e., obeisance to leftist ideology) by corporations as dominant a Procter & Gamble and Nike.

It is not enough to be woke; you must be more woke than others. Progressives must always progress by pushing the envelope. Dictating that cetaceans shall not be bred or held in captivity is only…

…the latest extension of TripAdvisor’s industry-leading animal welfare policy, which first launched in 2016. The policy already commits TripAdvisor and its subsidiary brand Viator to no longer sell tickets to experiences where travelers come into physical contact with captive wild animals, such as elephant ride and tiger petting experiences. It was further enhanced in 2018, at which point TripAdvisor also banned demeaning animal shows and performances from sale.

What “demeaning” might mean in the context of animal rights, only a moonbat could answer. Presumably, teaching a dog to beg for treats would be demeaning.

Future extensions of the policy may ban tickets to events that feature any animal in captivity. Zoos, rodeos, horseback riding, et cetera demean animals and therefore must be eradicated by the corporate cancel culture.

As we slide ever further down the slippery slope toward absolute lunacy, and animal-exploiting villains become ever harder to identify, events will be banned if anyone associated with them stands accused of owning a fishbowl. Already San Francisco has considered banning goldfish.

On a tip from Dragon’s Lair.

Sep 29 2019

Orangutan Granted Human Rights

Absolute moonbattery can only be achieved on an incremental basis. That’s why its proponents call themselves “progressives.” To see how far they have progressed already, consider that an orangutan now qualifies for human rights.

Via the BBC:

An orangutan which spent 20 years in an Argentine zoo is being moved to a US animal sanctuary after being granted the same legal rights as humans.

Lawyers won a landmark appeal for Sandra in 2014, arguing she was being detained in Buenos Aires illegally. …

Sandra was born in an East German zoo and sold to Buenos Aires in 1995.

Too bad humans born in East Germany probably don’t qualify for as many human rights as an orangutan. Near the top of the list of human rights is free speech. Sandra can express herself by crapping in her hand and flinging it at whomever she pleases. Germans who complain about demographic displacement can get prison time.

I wonder if authorities will honor Sandra’s right to bear arms…

But I’m forgetting, human rights aren’t human rights anymore. Now they are special privileges, granted by government, like the right not to be offended if you belong to a favored identity group.

Her legal victory brought international fame to the orangutan, and set a precedent for apes to be legally deemed people rather than property.

Apes are people too. Before long, California will have a quota dictating how many must serve on each corporate board.

Soon after that, they will get begin granting human rights to plants, which are also people too.

On tips from Lyle and Stormfax.

Sep 24 2019

Fish Feel Pain!

Uh oh. The Experts have discovered that fish feel pain.

The Daily Mail breaks the big news:

The review of fish behaviour, from the University of Liverpool, presents evidence that goldfish given an electric shock in one part of their tank will stop feeding there for three days, starving themselves.

A type of fish called a perch, when its mouth is damaged by a fishing hook, will not feed as frequently, suggesting it hurts to do so.

Fish have also been seen hyperventilating, waving injured tails and rubbing parts of their bodies when they are injured.

Most people could figure out for themselves that fish feel pain, or at the very least prefer not to be injured. Treating this as a discovery has political implications.

PETA was predictably quick to capitalize:

Elisa Allen, director of animal charity PETA, said: ‘Anyone who has seen fish gasping for air while trapped in a trawler’s net, impaled at the end of a line, or floundering on the deck of a boat is sure to recognise that these animals experience fear, pain, and distress – just like humans do.

‘Fish are intelligent, have unique personalities, and value their own lives, and the more we learn about these fascinating animals, the harder it is for humans to justify sticking a fork in them.’

Fishing for sport is harder still to justify to moonbats. It will be illegal in utopia, just like eating meat.

Fish are people too. But then, so are plants.

On a tip from ABC of the ANC.

Sep 06 2019

Almas Veganas Combines Animal Rights With #MeToo Mania

Intersectional moonbattery has produced the merger of animal rights lunacy with #MeToo mania. The moonbats of Almas Veganas (Vegan Souls) of Girona, Spain identify as antispeciesist and transfeminist. They have achieved their 15 seconds of fame with a video that shows them smashing chicken eggs because the unformed chicks within were conceived without the consent of the hen.

According to the Daily Mail, the vegans separate male from female chickens because they “don’t want the hens to be raped.”

As antispeciesists, they believe that all species should be treated the same. Therefore, any hanky-panky between chickens must be preceded by explicit consent, as with people.

They have figured out that their measures will prevent the chickens from reproducing, but this is a good thing, because the hens “are genetically modified to make them lay more eggs.” Better there should be no chickens than there be genetically modified chickens who are oppressed by the chicken patriarchy.

A stern reminder from Almas Veganas:

“Either you are vegan or you help to finance animal slavery. Eating animals is fascist.”

When in doubt as to whether something is fascist, just ask yourself if the farthest left lunatic imaginable would embrace it enthusiastically. If the answer is no, then it is or will soon become fascist.

Almas Veganas smashes the chicken patriarchy.

On a tip from ABC of the ANC.

Aug 25 2019

Vegans Choose Dog’s Life Over Human’s

According to bleakly nihilistic moonbat ideology, a human life is worth no more than an animal’s — and possibly less. Will Witt attended a recent Vegan March in downtown Los Angeles to confirm that most of the vegans in attendance would rather save their dog than a stranger:

There is a bright line between well-meaning but wrong and morally depraved. Most “animal rights” advocates cross it. Some seem to love animals less than they hate humans.

On a tip from KirklesWorth.

Aug 16 2019

Milking Cows Equated With Sexual Abuse

The lunacy is never sated; the more it feeds on itself, the more ravenous it becomes. Now academia tells us that acquiring food by milking cows is literally the equivalent of sexual abuse:

Titled “Readying the Rape Rack: Feminism and the Exploitation of Non-Human Reproductive Systems,” the paper was published Friday in a journal called Dissenting Voices, which is published and edited by the Women’s and Gender Studies program at the College at Brockport State University of New York.

The published piece aims at discussing the “sexual exploitation of non-human bodies, specifically dairy cows.”

It will not be legal to sexually exploit cows by milking them when utopia has been achieved.

According to the publication, “the dairy industry is a host for sex-based discrimination,” and a “site where sexual assault and objectification based on biological makeup are highly prevalent but ignored as we choose to neglect non- humans with whom we share a planet.”

According to leftists, there is no meaningful difference between a cow and a human being. When PETA’s Ingrid Newkirk proclaimed that “A rat is a pig is a dog is a boy,” she could have added, “is a cow.”

If it ever occurs to academics and animal rights militants that cows would hardly exist if we did not raise them for food, they will probably call for the welfare state to be expanded to finance cow preserves.

The paper argues that “in order to fully fight gendered oppression,” society must also address the plight of dairy cows, which it asserts are “still subjects to sex-based discrimination and violence,” despite their voices being “not always lifted or comprehensible.”

It isn’t easy to comprehend the voices of cows. Those guilty of clinging to an anthropocentric orientation may even believe that “Moo” doesn’t really mean anything in particular.

[A]uthor Mackenzie April, an intern for Brockport’s Women’s Studies Department, … hopes the publication will inspire feminists and other “social justice”-minded individuals to “incorporate non-human bodies into their own feminist perspectives.”

The #MooToo movement is born.

To a potentially disastrous extent, feminists have prevented us from reproducing. Now let’s see if they can prevent us from eating.

On a tip from Jester.

Aug 07 2019

Sin Tax on Meat in Germany

If it is good, moonbats won’t like it. If moonbats don’t like it, it will be banned — or at the very least taxed so that only the ruling class can afford it. For example, consider meat in Germany:

German politicians from the Social Democrats (SPD) and the Greens on Wednesday proposed raising the value added tax (VAT) on meat to the standard rate of 19%. Currently, meat is taxed at a reduced rate of 7% like most foodstuffs.

Politicians say they will spend the confiscated money on animal welfare. But it won’t promote the welfare of cows if people stop eating them. You don’t see many wild cows wandering through the forests of Germany.

It isn’t just a matter of animal rights. According to leftist dogma, meat offends the climate.

Green Party leader Robert Habeck said he didn’t support the measure because it didn’t go far enough. Instead, he backed a full overhaul of the VAT system to tackle environmental concerns.

This confirms the obvious regarding VATs: once they are established, progressives will always find a reason to raise them. We will see this for ourselves if Democrats take power and impose “Medicare for all” or “free” college. An ever-rising VAT will be required to stave off national bankruptcy.

Scientists … have called for bold measures to decrease meat consumption as part of a holistic approach to combating climate change.

Scientists know that grant money comes from Big Government. Anthropogenic Global Warming is the official religion of Big Government. However, evidence that raising taxes will improve the weather still has not materialized.

On a tip from R F.

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