While pranking passersby to see how they would react to abortion clinics at Walmart, Mark Dice came across a timely update to the Newspeak Dictionary. We are no longer to refer to babies as “babies” unless the mother decides not to kill them. Otherwise, we are to refer to babies as “parasites.”

Pure evil doesn’t really look like the latex demons in horror movies. It is more likely to look like the girl in the crop top in the video below:

If they have that much contempt for the worth of an innocent baby’s life, imagine how little they must value the lives of sexists, racists, homophobes, et cetera.

On a tip from KirklesWorth.

Google Docs may need adjustment to flag the word “marijuana,” because the moonbats running Washington State have deleted it from the Newspeak Dictionary on the grounds that it is racist:

Legislators recently passed a law that changes every Revised Code of Washington with the word “marijuana.” The change gets rid of the term, swapping it out for the word “cannabis.”

Supporters say the word “marijuana” has a long history of racism.

Good thing they have other words to use instead. Democrats encourage the use of marijuana because of course they do, so long as we refer to it with approved language.

Barks Democratic State Rep Melanie Morgan:

“Even though it seems simple because it’s just one word, the reality is we’re healing the wrongs that were committed against Black and Brown people around cannabis.”

No doubt her eyes misted over as she was swept away by this great historic moment.

The word “marijuana” is mainly racist becomes it comes from Spanish, implying in the minds of Evergreen State bureauweenies that Mexican immigrants were accused of smoking it back when it was bad.

This means the word is also transphobic, as Spanish is a gendered language that insists on the male/female dichotomy. If you must use the word “marijuana,” please say “marijuanx” instead, just as you would say “Latinx,” so as not to offend our transsexual cultural overlords.

On a tip from seaoh.

Excisions from the Newspeak Dictionary come so fast and furious that even the most devoutly obedient liberal runs the risk of cancelation by his own mob for using a previously innocuous but now forbidden word. To address this problem, Google will automatically present warnings when people stray from political correctness by using disfavored terms like “policeman” and “landlord”:

The warnings will alert users that what they have typed “may not be inclusive to all readers,” while suggesting users should “Consider using different words,” offering woke corrections like ‘police officer’ or ‘property owner’.

Other words regarded as offensive include “motherboard” and “mankind.”

This Google Docs feature is on by default for “enterprise-level users.” No doubt applications will be found for this technology on the Google search engine.

Eventually, Google will devise an intracranial chip that automatically blocks and replaces incorrect thoughts. That is the ultimate objective of the liberal war on our vocabulary.

On a tip from Franco.

The ideology of our woke overlords rests on the belief that whites are mean to racial groups that liberals prefer. To prop up this crumbling lie, leftists resort to hate hoaxes and to declaring neutral terms to be derogatory.

In an irritating demonstration of authoritarian arrogance and phony virtue signaling, Democrats piously demanded that Squaw Peak — among the most prominent features of Phoenix — be referred to as “Piestewa Peak.” People still call Squaw Peak “Squaw Peak,” but never on TV.

The large number of landmarks throughout the country with the formerly anodyne term “squaw” in the name now constitutes evidence that America is racist, as per liberal doctrine.

No worries, oppressed Indians. Democrats will ride to your rescue by erasing our heritage:

The United States Department of the Interior (DOI) proposed a list of new names for more than 660 geographic features across the country last month, the agency announced in a statement.

Led by the U.S. Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland, the first Native American to serve as cabinet secretary, the February 2022 release of the list marks the next step in a sweeping plan to remove the racist and misogynist slur “squaw” from the national geographic landscape. Hundreds of U.S. geographic sites, including mountains, rivers, lakes, remote islands and more, currently are named using the word, report Neil Vigdor and Christine Hauser for the New York Times.

How much money they will print to pay for this gesture was not disclosed.

The word “squaw” is now so thoroughly canceled that bureaucrats will not put it in writing lest they be accused of a thought crime. Instead, they right “sq___” or refer to it as the “S word.”

Which word will be designated as “racist and misogynist” next is anyone’s guess. Finding a suitable candidate is the sort of thing overpaid federal bureaucrats do with their time, as inflation spirals out of control, inner cities degenerate into violent anarchy, a vast conquering army of illegal aliens pours across the border, and America circles the drain.

On a tip from Jack Bauer.

Did the 24/7 media coverage convince you that there is a war in Ukraine? Did you think Russia had invaded? Then you are using an outmoded version of the Newspeak Dictionary and should update at once, in light of new revisions from the United Nations:

The United Nations’ Department of Global Communications instructed staff of the international organisation not to refer to the situation in Ukraine as a “war” or “invasion”, in a move to balance political sensitivities as powerful member state Russia cracks down domestically on those who use the words.

Instead, UN staff were instructed to use the terms “conflict” or “military offensive” to describe Russia’s invasion of its neighbour, which has killed hundreds of civilians and forced two million people to flee the country.

In an email to a staff mailing list on Monday with the subject line “Ukraine crisis communications guidelines”, the director of the United Nations Regional Information Centre instructed employees not to describe the situation as a war and not to add the Ukrainian flag to personal or official social media accounts or websites.

Globalist bureauweenies have to be mindful of certain sensitivities. The only countries they don’t need to worry about offending are the USA and Israel.

The UN might have issued a resolution condemning the “military offensive” against Ukraine. But that is off the table, because Russia can block it as a permanent member of the Security Council.

That’s how useful the United Nations is. That’s what American taxpayers gets for our $11 billion per year.

On a tip from Mr. Freemarket.

Under liberal rule, we are told we are racists, and that this is the worst thing imaginable, by people whose worldview is quintessentially racist. Even some progressives may have enough self-awareness to feel squeamish about denouncing dissidents as racist while imposing an ideology centered on worship of blacks and hatred of whites. No matter; as their endless subtractions from the Newspeak Dictionary prove, leftists control the language.

The social justice warriors of the Anti-Defamation League are changing the definition of “racism” so as to exculpate racists like themselves. Their new definition of racism:

Racism: The marginalization and/or oppression of people of color based on a socially constructed racial hierarchy that privileges white people.

Racism isn’t racism; racism is what evil white people do.

Not even low-IQ race hustler Ibram X. Kendi could come up with a more preposterous definition. His definition of racism takes the circular route: “a collection of racist policies that lead to racial inequity that are substantiated by racist ideas.”

Expect Merriam-Webster to adopt the ADL definition soon.

A passage from Lewis Carroll comes to mind:

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.”

“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”

“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master — that’s all.”

That was before the word “master” was excised from the Newspeak Dictionary.

On tips from Mr. Freemarket and Gringoman.

To avoid cancelation, it is essential to keep up to the moment with academia’s deluge of updates to the Newspeak Dictionary. In its IT Inclusive Language Guide, the University of Washington Information Technology Department excludes still more of our language on grounds of political incorrectness. The guide helpfully provides explanations as to why banned terms are “problematic.”

“Blackout date,” “black list,” “blackbox,” and “black hat hacker” are forbidden because according to establishment ideology, you must never associate black with anything bad. By the same token, “white list,” “white hat hacker,” etc. are off limits because you must never associate white with anything good. The terms “master/slave” and “webmaster” are nixed because of slavery, which according to our rulers’ religion has only ever affected blacks.

Other terms are found objectionable for less obvious reasons. Here’s why the term “grandfathered” makes the list:

“Grandfather clause” originated in the American South in the 1890s as a way to defy the 15th Amendment and prevent black Americans from voting.

You can’t say “brown bags” either, because,

Brown bags trace back to the “brown paper bag test,” which was traditionally used to judge skin color by certain African-American sororities and fraternities.

You can’t say “cakewalk,” because,

The cakewalk was a pre-Civil War dance performed by enslaved people, and the winner of which would be given a cake.

You can’t say “peanut gallery,” because,

Peanut gallery originally referred to the balconies of segregated theaters, where African Americans had to sit.

In our culture, everything has something to do with advantaged blacks actually being somehow oppressed, just as in the USSR under Lenin everything had something to do with overthrowing the already extirpated bourgeoisie.

You can’t say “lower the bar,” because,

This phrase is based on the erroneous idea that a company has to relax hiring standards in order to add people from different racial, ethnic, gender backgrounds.

Kamala Harris and our next Supreme Court Justice are cases in point.

The list goes on at some length, reminding us what educrats do for their bloated, heavily taxpayer-subsidized salaries. Tough luck if you went into IT instead of liberal arts in hopes of avoiding political indoctrination.

Eventually, they will pare down the Newspeak Dictionary until every phrase in the English language has been erased except for “Black Lives Matter!” At that point, we will be free of thoughtcrime, because we will not have the vocabulary to think incorrect thoughts.

On a tip from Mr. Freemarket.

The word “gang” has been struck from the Newspeak Dictionary. Henceforth, we are to replace it with “groups of folks.” To speak otherwise would be to risk offending gangbangers, who qualify for protected status because if they ever voted, it would be for Democrats.

With each passing day, the list of permissible vocabulary gets shorter. Soon we will not have words to express thoughtcrime.

On a tip from Varla.

Just when you thought woke scolds could not possibly become any more intrusive, Microsoft embeds a political correctness checker in Word:

When switched on, spelling mistakes are underlined in red, grammar errors in blue and “inclusiveness” issues in purple. …

The checker can be turned on and off in a menu called “Grammar & Refinements”, which lists everything it checks: Age bias, Cultural bias, Ethnic slurs, Gender bias, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Gender-Specific Language, Racial Bias, Sexual Orientation Bias and Socioeconomic Bias.

Examples:

Users who write “Mrs Thatcher” are told it “may imply gender bias” and are prompted to change it to the supposedly less offensive “Ms Thatcher”.

And the phrase astronaut Neil Armstrong uttered when he became the first person on the moon is not deemed acceptable.

Rather than “one giant leap for mankind”, he should have said “humankind” or “humanity”.

The word “mankind” is deemed thoughtcrime by our Big Tech overlords.

It also proposes changing “maid” — used for centuries to describe female housekeepers — to “house cleaner”.

Others to change include “headmaster” (Word suggests “principal”), “mistress” (“lover”), “master” (“expert”), “manpower” (“workforce”) and “heroine” (“hero”).

The aptly named digital strategist John Bull praises the political correctness checker:

“Your spellchecker will now help you to start overcoming your subconscious biases. It’s a brilliant feature.”

The allegedly brilliant feature is included in the latest version of Office 365. Future versions might provide electric shocks through the keyboard to those who type words that have been deleted from the Newspeak Dictionary, the better to cure us of our subconscious biases.

On a tip from Mr. Freemarket.

Even now, whiteness festers in pockets where it has not yet been hunted down and extirpated by the forces of social justice. Two more havens for whiteness have been exposed: campus concerts and outdoor recreation.

Via the Washington Examiner:

The student newspaper at an Ohio college known for its left-leaning politics published a column decrying the number of white students attending campus concerts.

“When there are so few resources for non-white students on campus, it can be upsetting when concerts headlined by artists of color are dominated by white students,” wrote Kayla Kim, a first-year student at Oberlin College.

Kayla finds it hurtful that majority white students displace black students from the front row at such events. No doubt Democrats will introduce federal legislation to address the crisis of white people hogging up front rows.

As for outdoor recreation, Brittany Hughes breaks the news that it too is infested with racist whiteness:

Please note that the word “carabiner” is to be removed from the list of permissible vocabulary because it reminds the thought police of the slang term “Beaner.” Update your copy of the Newspeak Dictionary accordingly.

On tips from Dragon’s Lair and Occam’s Stubble.

A favorite aspect of George Orwell’s 1984 among leftists is the concept of limiting thought by limiting language. This was picked up in the 1960s by French postmodernists and from there became a bedrock principle of critical theory, the umbrella ideology of our leftist ruling class. Europe’s rulers have even created their own equivalent of Orwell’s Newspeak Dictionary. They call it Guidelines on Inclusive Communication. The following rules are among the many to be “followed at all times”:

Never use gendered nouns such as ‘workmen, policemen’ or masculine pronouns (he, his) as a default.

In English, “he” is used in to mean “he or she.” Not in Newspeak though. In English, “workpersons” sounds preposterous and sets off the spell checker. In Newspeak, it showcases the speaker’s political correctness.

Never address an audience as ‘ladies and gentlemen’ but use expressions such as ‘Dear colleagues’.

There may be moonbats present who are neither ladies nor gentlemen.

When addressing trans people, always respect self-identification.

That is, subordinate objective biological reality to radical LGBT ideology.

Do not use terms with a negative connotation such as ‘suffering from HIV’, ‘suffering from autism’, ‘wheelchair-bound’ (use ‘with HIV’, ‘with autism’, ‘wheelchair user’ instead).

It would be stigmatizing to imply that there is anything negative about having the virus that causes AIDS.

Be sure to study the entire manual carefully lest you commit a speechcrime, keeping in mind that just because everyone has used a given expression for centuries is no reason to assume that it is currently acceptable.

The guide provides helpful reminders like this:

[I]f we always portray mothers as child-carers, we perpetuate harmful stereotypes.

Only a thought criminal would be exclusive of mothers who choose to abandon their children.

Another reminder is particularly appropriate for this time of year. Never say “Christmas.” Until it has been abolished completely, refer to it only as an unspecified “holiday.” The word “Christmas” is an obscenity in Newspeak.

Refer to the Vigilant Citizen for more on this version of the Newspeak Dictionary, as well as other key Newspeak updates. Remember: let slip a word that has been canceled and you yourself may be canceled.

On tips from Greg O and Blackjack.

The George Floyd Memorial Riots enshrined looting as a civil right. Combine it with the leftist lunatics who run California decriminalizing shoplifting and the inevitable result has been an epidemic of smash and grab robberies, often involving large numbers of criminals. But we must not refer to these activities as “looting,” according to Bay Area ABC affiliate KGO-TV:

Race and Social Justice Reporter Julian Glover is here to give us some context of looting.

Millions of dollars’ worth of luxury goods have been looted in the San Francisco area during the current crime wave.

But according to the California Penal Code, what we saw was not looting.

The penal code defines looting as “theft or burglary…during a ‘state of emergency’, ‘local emergency’, or ‘evacuation order’ resulting from an earthquake, fire, flood, riot or other natural or manmade disaster.”

California has succumbed to liberalism to such an extreme that the authorities are no longer willing or able to protect private property. But for some reason that doesn’t count as a manmade disaster.

To some, the distinction may be small, but Lorenzo Boyd, PhD, Professor of Criminal Justice & Community Policing at the University of New Haven, and a retired veteran police officer, emphasized that words matter.

“Looting is a term that we typically use when people of color or urban dwellers are doing something. We tend not to use that term for other people when they do the exact same thing,” said Boyd.

Therefore, to use the term “looting” is racist against looters. That makes the person who says “looters” the criminal. The looters themselves are not criminals, because according to the Black Lives Matter ideology ostentatiously embraced by the liberal establishment, looters are only collecting reparations for injustices that occurred generations before they were born.

Calling the looting after Katrina “looting” is racist too:

Martin Reynolds, Co-executive director of the Robert C. Maynard Institute of Journalism Education thinks back to Hurricane Katrina, when largely Black New Orleans residents were labeled looters for crimes of survival – stealing water, food, and supplies before federal government aid arrived.

Liquor stores were particularly hard hit by these “crimes of survival.”

When you update your Newspeak Dictionary, no need to delete the word “loot” entirely. Just make a note that it must only be used if those responsible are white.

On tips from AintYerPa and Dragon’s Lair.

The coddling of liberal snowflakes who must be isolated from anything that challenges their childish worldview has reached a new extreme of self-parody at England’s Warwick University, which has canceled the term “trigger warning” lest the warning itself trigger wokesters.

The term “content notes” will be used instead when warning that the material in literature and drama classes may not be in total compliance with current standards of political correctness. “Trigger warning” is now regarded as “provocative” — probably because it has been used to ridicule moonbats who become unglued at the revelation that someone somewhere at some time in the past deviated from wokeness. Naturally, it has had the opposite effect by inviting more ridicule:

Tory MP Andrew Bridgen said: ‘Warwick’s decision to take offence at the word trigger is ludicrous. How is this preparing students for a life in the outside world? Who is actually calling for these trigger or content warnings? Is it resilient young people or woke-afflicted academics? …

‘When I attended university it was to be educated and prepared for the world of work. It now appears our universities are preparing their students for a world of woke.’

“Content notes” read like this:

Studying literature necessarily involves confronting particular ideas, words and experiences that you might find offensive, upsetting, or disturbing. All of the modules you take in the department will involve material that can be difficult for some people, even traumatic.

Shakespeare provides a more suitable alternative for preparing liberal militants to have their horizons broadened:

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

The Bard’s own work has been subjected to trigger warnings in academia. So has 1984, which introduced the concept of the Newspeak Dictionary. The term “trigger warning” will be excised from the next edition.

On tips from Dragon’s Lair and AintYerPa.

Updates to the Newspeak Dictionary will continue until utopia has been achieved — i.e., until no one championed by Democrats is ever offended by anything. Now the Colorado Sex Offender Management Board has canceled the term “sex offender” lest it offend sex offenders. Instead, these precious snowflakes are to be referred to as “adults who commit sexual offenses.”

The Federalist reports:

The board’s decision passed following a 10-6 vote on Nov. 19 will not change the language used in criminal justice proceedings, the Colorado Sex Offender registry, or the name of the Colorado Sex Offender Management Board itself. It does, however, apply to the “Standards and Guidelines for the Assessment, Evaluation, Treatment and Behavioral Monitoring of Adult Sex Offenders.”

The purpose is to destigmatize sex criminals. Seriously:

The rationale for the language shift is reducing stigma against those convicted of sex crimes, with the Denver Post claiming “many attorneys, people on the sex offender registry and even some victims have criticized Colorado’s management of this population as overly harsh and counterproductive to the goal of rehabilitation.”

I doubt the Denver Post regards the appalling treatment of Kyle Rittenhouse overly harsh. Sex criminals (e.g., liberal martyr Joseph Rosenbaum) have the sympathy of the progressive establishment. Decent kids trying to protect people’s property from leftist rioters do not.

Also in Colorado, Democrat State Representative Kerry Tipper has tried to get the phrase “sexually violent predator” erased from state law.

But it is still okay with liberals to call Rittenhouse a “a little murderous white supremacist” for resisting Black Lives Matter rioters.

Progressive preferences are also reflected at the national level:

These rhetorical changes mimic those that were present in the Centers for Disease Control’s woke language guide. That also exchanged terms like inmate and prisoner for “people who are incarcerated or detained.” Criminal was changed to “people in pre-trial or with charge” or “people who were formerly incarcerated.”

Newspeak can get a little wordy.

Meanwhile, others work to destigmatize pedophilia.

On tips from Blackjack and AintYerPa.