Category: Corporate Moonbattery

Aug 19 2019

Fast Food Ecofollies

Food businesses are as eager as other corporations to display their ESG moonbattery. This has resulted in fast food ecofollies.

These companies sometimes signal their virtue by serving food in ostensibly envirofriendly molded fiber bowls:

Unlike styrofoam clamshells or wax-lined soup cups, fiber products feel like they’d turn into mush on a leaf pile. They seem to offer convenience without the karmic debt, a way to eat that leaves no trace.

How nice to be able to eat without guilt gnawing at us for violating the planet. But as usual with environmentalist virtue signaling, appearance is one thing, reality another:

[A]ll molded fiber bowls contain PFAS, or per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances, a broad class of more than 4,000 fluorinated compounds that do not biodegrade naturally in the environment. This means that the bowls used at restaurants like Chipotle and Sweetgreen aren’t truly compostable, as has been claimed. Instead, they are likely making compost more toxic, adding to the chemical load of the very soil and water they were supposed to help improve.

Nonetheless, Sweatgreen boasts that its molded fiber bowls are “100% compostable!

Health effects at the individual level are still unknown:

The very worst PFAS chemicals are linked to a range of serious health outcomes, from colitis and thyroid disorders to kidney and testicular cancers, and have been mostly phased out of production in the U.S. These bowls are more likely to contain newer varieties that are just as persistent in the environment and are of grave concern to scientists, but have not been studied as closely for potential health effects.

Health effects on humans are of less concern to enviromoonbats than those on animals. For example, many tears have been shed over the fate of sea turtles that get plastic straws stuck in their nostrils. This is a major justification for the war on plastic straws (see here, here, here, here, and here).

MacDonald’s has responded with paper straws. These suck:

Last year, it axed plastic straws, even though they were recyclable, in all its UK branches as part of a green drive.

But the US fast food giant says the new paper straws are not yet easy to recycle and should be put into general waste.

Customers griped that the new straws dissolve before a drink can be finished. No doubt environmentalists regard this as a small price to pay to save the turtles. MacDonald’s responded with thicker paper straws that it has a hard time recycling.

It is likely that before long there will be no straws. They will go onto the long list of what moonbattery took away from us.

On tips from Steve S.

Aug 01 2019

Get Woke, Go Broke: Procter & Gamble

When it comes to corporations that aggressively ram moonbattery down our throats rather than give us a reason to use their product, Procter & Gamble tops even Nike.

One P&G ad pushes the phony leftist dogma that blacks are oppressed by the evil white man. Another ad denounces men for manifesting toxic masculinity.

Not content to merely annoy their customers, the social justice warriors at P&G seem determined to make them vomit. This is accomplished through gut-wrenchingly unappealing odes to morbid obesity and transsexual freakification.

Now we see the effect this foolishness has on the bottom line:

Procter & Gamble has reported a net loss of $5.24 billion, prompting speculation as to whether a boycott of the company’s Gillette shaving products after a divisive ‘woke’ ad campaign hit the company’s bottom line.

The reference here is to the insulting toxic masculinity ad, which some genius must have thought would compel men to buy Gillette shaving products.

The commercial alternated between echoing glib feminist talking points and bashing men, while also featuring a clip from left-wing news outlet The Young Turks.

Then again, maybe they weren’t even trying to sell shaving cream. Maybe they just wanted us to know what moonbats they are. If so, they succeeded.

It has now been revealed that Procter & Gamble took an $8 billion writedown on its Gillette shaving business, contributing to “a net loss of about $5.24 billion, or $2.12 per share, for the quarter ended June 30.”

Couldn’t happen to a nicer company.

On a tip from Artfldgr.

Jul 24 2019

Macy’s Pulls Plates to Appease Humorless SJW

The overweight now qualify as “oppressed.” They and those who bully on their behalf have the power to compel the sniveling PC invertebrates comprising corporate America to obey their peremptory commands. When Macy’s dared sell humorous plates with circles delimiting the portions appropriate for skinny jeans, favorite jeans, and mom jeans, a social justice warrior reacted with rage, apparently because this counts as fat shaming:

Other SJWs echoed the fury.

You can guess how Macy’s reacted:

Macy’s responded to Ward’s tweet saying that it agreed with her and that it had “missed the mark on this product.”

“It will be removed from all STORY at Macy’s locations,” it tweeted. Story is a pop-up-style area in some Macy’s stores that stocks products from small businesses.

Power. Not only enjoyed vicariously through the hypertrophied government but right there in their own petty tyrant fingertips as they issue menacing demands on Twitter. That’s what it’s all about for SJWs. The more their victims react with obsequious submission, the more aggressive the bullying will get.

On a tip from Doc.

Jul 07 2019

Police Thrown Out of Tempe Starbucks

The campaign to demoralize police officers here in the Phoenix area, which went into overdrive with the recent family shoplifting affair and the Plain View Project unmasking of social media thought crimes, marches forward. Officers were asked to leave a Tempe Starbucks because a customer “did not feel safe” with them present:

Five officers were drinking coffee at the Starbucks location prior to their shift beginning when a barista asked them to move out of the complaining customer’s line of sight or else leave, the Tempe Officers Association wrote in a series of Twitter messages.

Two of the officers are veterans. This happened on the Fourth of July.

Neither the barista nor the customer who allegedly complained were identified.

That the complainant is a person of politically preferred pigmentation is nearly certain. According to the liberal narrative, police are somehow a threat to them, as if their neighborhoods would be safer with no police. After Philadelphia police were called on two troublemakers of color who refused to either buy something or leave, Starbucks went into a prolonged spasm of politically correct groveling, opening the restrooms to bums and junkies and closing 8,000 locations while imposing Cultural Marxist brainwashing (aka “racial bias training”) on the employees.

Ironically, requesting that the officers leave proves that the reason for wanting them to leave is pure B.S. The complainant wouldn’t dare make such a request if police were evil thugs like the media and Democrat politicians ask us to believe.

More irony: if the criminal class that police allegedly oppress hold up this Starbucks, the employee in question will waste no time calling the police; nor will the police waste any time putting their lives on the line in response to the call, even knowing how little their service is appreciated.

Still more irony: the troublemakers who set off the brouhaha in Philadelphia by refusing to abide by the rules are effusively and obsequiously welcome by penitent Starbucks. Police officers who help them to enforce rules so as to maintain public safety for the customers, not so much.

Weirdly, no matter how despicably Starbucks wallows in moonbattery, customers keep coming back.

On a tip from Byron.

Jul 02 2019

Arizona Governor Doug Ducey Pushes Back Against Nike

Arizona Governor Doug Ducey earns the highest kudos for pushing back against Nike after it nixed shoes with the original Betsy Ross flag on them because the odious Colin Kaepernick finds American heritage offensive:

In a series of overnight tweets, Ducey announced he is yanking … millions of dollars in state incentives offered to get Nike to build a manufacturing plant in the suburban city of Goodyear.

“Instead of celebrating American history the week of our nation’s independence, Nike has apparently decided that Betsy Ross is unworthy, and has bowed to the current onslaught of political correctness and historical revisionism,” Ducey wrote in a series of tweets early Tuesday.

Extra kudos to Ducey for recognizing that this represents not only the scourge known as political correctness but also an escalation of the liberal War on History, which went into high gear with the campaign to delete any remnant of Southern history and soon escalated to an attack on the flag.

Adds Ducey,

“Arizona’s economy is doing just fine without Nike. We don’t need to suck up to companies that consciously denigrate our nation’s history.”

Here is what Nike’s moonbattery cost it:

The city council in Goodyear, Arizona, voted Monday to approve plans to construct a multimillion-dollar Nike manufacturing plant in the city. The agreement included a promise to waive $1 million in plan review and permit fees and reimburse Nike an additional $1 million as a thank you for the estimated 550 jobs the plant will create.

Fortunately, there is no shortage of jobs in the Phoenix area without handing out money to a company that gives veto power over anything patriotic to a leftist former athlete who literally makes his living nowadays by hating America.

Ducey also noted,

“Words cannot express my disappointment at this terrible decision. I am embarrassed for Nike. Nike is an iconic American brand and American company. This country, our system of government and free enterprise have allowed them to prosper and flourish.”

Compare and contrast withholding free goodies from Nike due to its conspicuous anti-patriotism with the liberal politicians who refuse to allow Chick-fil-A to open restaurants because the Left is at war with the company due to its association with Christianity.

It isn’t hard to distinguish the good guys from the bad guys.

On tips from Varla and 1-Bodhisattva.

Jul 02 2019

Nike Pulls Patriotic Sneakers on Orders From Colin Kaepernick

Nike has deep-sixed patriotic sneakers featuring the original Betsy Ross flag because vehemently anti-American washed-up former football player Colin Kaepernick expressed disapproval.

Kaepernick, best known for indulging in disrespectful antics when the national anthem was played during his bygone football career, proclaims that the original flag of the USA is offensive. So Nike, which has positioned itself as the official sneaker company of the radical Left by paying Kaepernick to represent it, pulled the shoe after it had already been sent to retailers.

The sneaker giant created the Air Max 1 USA in celebration of the July Fourth holiday, and it was slated to go on sale this week. The heel of the shoe featured a U.S. flag with 13 white stars in a circle, a design created during the American Revolution and commonly referred to as the Betsy Ross flag. …

After images of the shoe were posted online, Mr. Kaepernick, a Nike endorser, reached out to company officials saying that he and others felt the Betsy Ross flag is an offensive symbol because of its connection to an era of slavery…

Anything associated with the Enlightenment, which gave birth to America, must be erased because there was still slavery during this period, as there had always been.

To give a hostile cockroach like Colin Kaepernick veto power over our heritage is the most disgusting thing to come out of a moonbattery-addled corporation yet. The most sacred symbols of America now face consignment to the memory hole as thought crimes.

If it were up to Nike, the Fourth of July would be canceled, because apparently Kaepernick finds that offensive too.

On tips from 1-Bodhisattva and Blackjack.

Jul 01 2019

Oreo Cookies Perverted Pronouns Push

As a totalitarian ideology like moonbattery takes root, it becomes ubiquitous. Propaganda screams at you from everywhere. Soon you won’t be able to so much as buy a package of cookies without being subjected to pushy social engineering. Nabisco is giving away “special edition Pronoun Packs” of Oreo cookies to encourage kids to identify as a gender other than their own and to bully others into going along by insisting on the use of contrived pronouns.

I assumed NCTE stood for National Center for Transgender Equality Supremacism, but according to The Federalist, it’s worse than that:

NCTE is the National Council of Teachers of English. While it sounds benign, this massive organization that affects millions of teachers all over the country—and helped write Common Core—has been politically far leftist for decades. … Its influence on actual English curriculum has been to degrade instruction with politicization and gobbledygook, according to the most rigorous research.

From cookies to classrooms, there is no escape. That is how people are persuaded to conform to such a pernicious and unappealing ideology as political correctness. People are social animals. Most will go along with anything if they think everyone else is going along with it. Liberals’ success at ramming the LGBT agenda down the public’s throat is proof of this.

Brainwashing is especially effective if applied to impressionable youth, for example, by targeting schoolchildren and cookie consumers.

The good news is that anyone disgusted into boycotting Oreos will probably experience health benefits.

On a tip from ABC of the ANC.

Jun 18 2019

Mastercard to Let Transsexuals Use Phony Names

Preventing fraud is important to credit card companies — but not as important as “virtue” signaling by pandering trendily to transsexuals. That’s why Mastercard will now let the sexually perplexed put made-up names on their cards:

Mastercard will allow transgender people to use their chosen names on credit and debit cards in an effort to combat discrimination at the cash register.

“Discrimination” is what the liberals call it when transsexuals fail to receive instant groveling gratification of even their most imperious and unreasonable demands.

That means that the name on the credit card owned by a transgender person could be different than that found on their birth certificate or driver’s license.

What could go wrong? I mean, other than purse snatchers putting on wigs to go with their 5-day beards and shopping with stolen cards.

Other adventures in social justice warfare by Mastercard include blacklisting people for being disliked by intolerant Jacobins like Color of Change.

Bizarre but true: corporate America has embraced the ultraleft. Given what leftists do to capitalists once they have the power, the suits in the boardrooms must be hoping that the crocodile eats them last.

On a tip from Steve T.

Jun 06 2019

Budweiser: Queen of Beers

Budweiser has been positioning itself as the beer of homosexuals. The campaign continues:

The profusion of robust locally brewed craft beers throughout the country left the purveyors of watery bilge water in search of a market. Looks like Budweiser has settled on a marketing strategy.

On a tip from Steve T.

May 31 2019

Work Experience Downgraded

We must clearly establish the exact hierarchy of the oppressed victim caste system, so that human resources departments know who to hire. They can’t go by prior work experience. Chad Van Iddekinge is a Professor of Management at Florida State University. He says work experience is bunk:

“Previous work experience generally is not a good indicator of how well employees perform in a new organization,” Van Iddekinge said. “Our research found a very small relationship between the amount or type of experience that employees possessed when they came into a new organization and how they ultimately performed in that job. There’s almost no relationship in most cases.”

This revelation might help reduce heathcare costs. Why pay extra for an experienced surgeon? Grab the otherly abled Afro-American transsexual infinifat who used to sweep floors at a veterinarian’s office. Save money and score big on intersectional righteousness points, since experience doesn’t matter anyway.

Hold on…

“We’re not saying experience is not important in every situation,” Van Iddekinge said. “But we think there are better ways to measure pre-hire experience that may be more productive. Don’t ignore experience, but the way employers measure it now does not appear to be very effective.”

What a relief. For a moment, I thought moonbattery was having the same effect on human resources management that it has had on everything else.

Actually, it is having the same effect. Even if unfairly, this study will be used as further evidence that conventional qualifications are irrelevant.

On a tip from Jester.

May 26 2019

Most Nauseating Procter & Gamble Ad Yet

In corporate America these days, not even the moonbats running Procter & Gamble can outmoonbat the other moonbats — not with the moonbattery dial already turned as far as it will go to the left. Yet they need to push the envelope, so as to appear even more woke than other corporations. So they opted to make their ads ever more nauseating.

They triggered the gag reflex by producing infuriating propaganda in tearful service of the lie that privileged Persons of Politically Preferred Pigmentation are somehow oppressed in modern America. They again had us choking back barf with the infamous Gillette ad attacking supposedly toxic masculinity.

Then vomit splattered onto monitors when they took to Twitter to promote exhibitionist obesity on behalf of radical feminism. But they were just getting warmed up.

Now this:

A new Gillette advert shows the moment a loving dad teaches his transgender son how to shave for the first time.

By “transgender son,” they mean deranged daughter who has managed to grow a beard, presumably thanks to the marvels of modern pharmaceuticals. She goes by the name Samson Brown.

‘Thank you so much Gillette,’ Samson commented underneath the new advert. For allowing me to share such an important moment in a man’s life with my father.’

Position a barf bucket before proceeding.

How this will help sell shaving products is unclear. Any male moonbatty enough to find P&G ads appealing is probably a millennial trendoid sporting a neckbeard.

Mr Reagan demonstrates the horror of what moonbattery has done to us by contrasting this emetic propaganda with a Gillette ad from saner times.

On a tip from Heckrules.

May 19 2019

Burger King Encourages Leftists to Throw Its Milkshakes at Opponents

It may be difficult to take throwing milkshakes at people seriously, but in a certain context it constitutes political violence, and will inevitably lead to an escalation of violence. This is the context in which ever-so-woke Burger King encourages moonbats to throw its milkshakes at people they disagree with.

From Breitbart:

The supposedly witty tweet seems to be an opportunistic response to a story that police in Scotland asked a local branch of McDonald’s not to sell milkshakes during a rally at Edinburgh’s Corn Exchange by Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party.

Pro-Brexit countermoonbats who have been hit with milkshakes include Tommy Robinson and Carl Benjamin, both of whom are running for political office.

When asked if Burger King meant to encourage people to throw milkshakes at Tommy Robinson, the company replied in the affirmative by stating “No comment.”

If anything could make a countermoonbat less likely to risk indigestion by eating at Burger King than its feminist fries and it’s “Don’t Give a F***” meals, this would be it.

More from Tim Pool, who like me got sick the last time he tried eating at Burger King:

On a tip from ScrewyPuppy.

Feb 12 2019

Moonbat Bank: Aspiration

The policy of having people pay whatever they think they should was a predictable failure for Panera Cares. Aspiration, a bank catering specifically to moonbats, steps up to give it a try. Because socialism means never admitting, “Well, that didn’t work”:

At Aspiration, we always put our customers first. You can be sure because we trust you to Pay What Is Fair – even if it is zero. That means we will always be working our hardest for you.

That’s their ATM fee: “the fee you think we deserve.” Given the company’s irritating moonbat posturing (“At Aspiration, your deposits are fossil fuel free… Goodbye, Greed. Hello, Good.”), the fee I think they deserve would be a pie firmly ground into the CEO’s face.

On a tip from Steve T.

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